If you have just come out of a narcissistic relationship with someone who displayed extreme narcissistic traits, you are probably going through a lot of confusion and hurting. Even if you don’t feel it, there are things you can to do put your life back together after dealing with a narcissist.
Although you’ve started to gradually realize with time that you weren’t to blame for believing them and falling victim to their traits, there is nothing you can do to safeguard your interests anymore. You wonder what exactly you could have done differently to safeguard yourself from the emotional turmoil and abuse you went through.
Toxic relationships leave us devastated both physically and mentally and throw us into a pit of despair. Once the relationship ends, you will start feeling regret over things you could have had done differently. The memories you have of them lead you to do a lot of things differently.
This article looks at ways and tips you can follow to put your life back together after going through abuse from a narcissistic relationship. The tips here will guide you in your recovery process and take you forward.
Acknowledge and Accept the Abuse
The first step to recovering from the abuse is acknowledging and accepting that it occurred in the first place. Be it from a romantic partner, a family member, or a friend, you need to understand and comprehend that the abuse did occur. You can only take the steps towards recovery and emotional relief once you know the abuse occurred and prepare yourself for proper healing.
You might have some problems at the beginning of the healing process, but eventually, you will come to realize that the person who hurt you doesn’t matter anymore, and calling a spade a spade is in your best interest.
Set Your Boundaries
Once you are back from a relationship with a narcissist, you need to set your boundaries and end the relationship. It is common for a narcissist to want to reach out to you once the relationship is over. They will try to call you, send messages and especially apologize to you in a bid to get to your heart. You should realistically manage all of these qualms and ensure that you don’t bow down to the temptation of messaging them or talking to them.
A good technique to follow here is to block their number, email address, and other social media accounts where they may try to reach out to you. Keep in mind that they will still try to contact you. Make sure that the steps you take towards recovery are strong enough to not be disturbed by their approaches in any way. Remember that you deserve to be treated within the boundaries you set for yourself. Don’t let them break through those boundaries.
Prepare for Complex Emotions
Be mentally ready for the wave of complex emotions bound to follow your break up with them. Most painful feelings following a breakup include:
- grief and loss
- shock
- anger
- sadness or feelings of depression
There might be other instances of emotional distress as well, bordering on:
The trauma of the relationship can leave you with some form of post-traumatic stress disorder as well. All you need to do is place your needs on a primary pedestal and realize that you cannot undermine yourself anymore. You do have some emotional wounds with you, but the good news is that you are recovering and are already on your path to recovery.
Reclaim Your Identity
It is easy for individuals to forget their identity in a relationship with a narcissist. The very first thing you need to do is to reclaim that identity and put your stamp on it once. The problems might come from simple personality traits you have let go of or through manipulative remarks they have passed on you.
If you have started hating your hair because your ex thought it was stupid and ugly, it is time that you stepped up to change it. Do not hate parts of yourself for how they viewed you. In fact, make sure that you reclaim and accept your identity.
Practice Self Compassion
Don’t be too hard on yourself. A breakup can be a tough phase, even if you’re parting ways from a narcissist. Hence, the right way forward is to practice self-compassion and to remember that you can get across the rough tides by going easy on yourself.
Recovering from a narcissistic relationship can be difficult because it’s very hard to figure out where you ended and the other person began. But try not to let the result of this relationship make you feel like your emotions were never real.
