by Stefany J. Jones on Friday, July 7, 2020, at 5:10 am

I believe one of the most challenging things for us to do is to be grateful for the matters of the heart, which is more specifically the matters of a troubled and broken heart. To count it all joy amid problems and arising pain means that we would indeed have to embrace our most hurting times as part of our life lessons and life learnings. We would have to understand that whatever is going on is happening to us to perfect our character, make us more reliable, and teach us a few things. No matter what category, it is all for our highest good.

How could you ever impart to a battered woman that there is a reason she is going through so much heartache and strife? And that her portion of the responsibility of going through that is not having enough self-love and courage to know that she is much more than what she believes she is for she would not be enduring abuse of any kind or tolerating any mistreating behavior if her worth were known.

The same holds for anyone in a bad relationship, friendship, partnership, family ship, whatever. And yes, this is for the men too. I hear time and time again about men, good men, who are mistreated, unappreciated, and misused by the women in their lives. Believe you me, I know how women can be, and trust me, we can be more vicious and more cunning than any man. There is undoubtedly that capability. Never underestimate the power or scorn of a woman. Her feelings run deep, and for whatever reason, there is this inherent need for women to have the people who wrong us pay some type of restitution for our pain. (*This is not every woman, just the capability of SOME).

It is what it is. Just as there are men who are unfit in relationships, there are women who are just as so. Either way, I believe that in most cases, when you are being subjected to ill-treatment or hurt, it isn’t about you. It’s about the other person having unresolved issues and aches and pains within themselves. Remember, “hurting people hurt other people.” There’s nothing original about that quote for everyone, and their mama has used it.

So if “hurting people hurt other people,” that would mean that “loving people love other people,” or “grateful people are grateful for other people,” “inspired people to inspire other people,” “People who are whole help others to be whole,” and the list goes on.

I learned a long time ago that you must first seek to understand to be understood. You must want to always be in a position to lovingly assess the merits of a situation no matter how stained (is that a word?) that situation may be. You must learn to trust to be trusted; you must befriend to be befriended.

So the moral of the story is this… you know there’s always a noble (smile). To be in a loving and kind relationship, don’t let anyone and their actions change who you are. You continue to be who you are, and love will find its way home to you.