I seldom get reached by people who want to help meet that special someone, the person they feel their life would be complete. They may be successful in many life areas, have a great career, right family and friends, and think they’re lively and attractive. Yet, somehow a successful relationship with that special someone has eluded them.

Some people struggle with intimate relationships. They find the concept of being with someone, living with someone every day, and having to consider that person incredibly hard. They may be successful in their other relationships, be great friends, loyal and dedicated sons or daughters, and excellent colleagues. Still, when they look to partner-up, they have expectations and attitudes that would be difficult to accommodate in an intimate personal relationship. Learning to compromise, negotiate, tolerate another person and their habits, behaviors, and flaws can be a tough ask, no matter how much we may love them.

Hypnotherapy and counseling can be a fast and effective way of helping people understand their more profound issues, come to terms with past experiences, and feel better, more positive about themselves, and the possibility of a special relationship. But even so, is being with someone the answer to everything? Is it all it’s cracked up to be?

So, here’s my reply, some of my thoughts on the topic of having a special partner; do you want a special someone in your life?

I understand what you’re saying about wanting to meet that special someone. It’s delightful to think of a man who wants to share your life, look after you, spend long Summer evenings and cold Winter nights cozying up together. The companionable silences, the familiar arms to hold you, console you, make you feel wanted, attractive, secure, and unique can be a very reassuring part of life, all the more when contrasted with the thought of living life alone. But you know what, alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.

Like many single women, I wonder where all the lovely, single men socialize and potentially meet someone new. I understand your online dating sites’ issues, and they are not always a viable option for everyone.

I’ve heard it suggested that the more male-focused activities like boxing matches, horse racing, track days, golf events are often an excellent place to start meeting men. Some people like to try night school classes, discussion groups, or the gym, where there’s a possibility to meet and get to know someone casually, over weeks, gradually building up a relationship over time.

I can’t be bothered, and I’m single too. My partnered friends envy me; my freedom, independence, and the fact that I’m my boss; my time is my own.

And when I hear them complain from time to time about their men, have to do things they don’t want to do, attend functions, occasionally comfort them when they turn up upset after a row, hear them threaten to leave, get divorced, it serves to remind me that there are pluses and minuses to every circumstance!

A single person can read in bed, eat toast, sleep in late, not bother cooking, wearing makeup, or taking a shower if they’re so inclined! They can accept an invitation on impulse, go anywhere at the drop of a hat, stay out all night if they want to, are not answerable to anyone at home. Their home isn’t full of someone else’s possessions, no matter how endearing they may be.

They can decorate precisely as they like, express their style and taste. Sure, it can be useful to have someone help with decisions, help financially, do the garden, put the trash out once a week, but it can be a helluva price to pay for those privileges.

As a single person, it’s essential to focus on making potentially lonely times that bit extra-special. Include people in your life and invite friends round for dinner or to stay overnight. Investigate walking clubs, holidays for singles that are to your taste. 

Keep important social contact with others to avoid becoming too insular and self-absorbed. Plan so that you have lined up for long Bank Holiday weekends and the Christmas holidays; fresh flowers, clean sheets, your favorite food, a good film or two. Indulge yourself and reflect on those pluses and minuses.

And often, when we stop looking, a particular person turns up in our lives, unexpectedly! I hope that helps, even if it’s not quite the answer you were expecting.