the one

From the moment you met, you could tell there were definite sparks. This person is cute, funny, supportive, and everything you look for in a partner. Your first date went well…as did the second, and third, and every date thereafter.  Suddenly, you start to wonder: could this person be “the one”?

For my husband, he said he automatically knew.  He said I was different but in a good way.  Not the average chick he was accustomed to dating and I was more willing to meet half-way than him having to go all the way to meet the person.  For me, honestly, I did not automatically know, but over time he won me over and proved he was the one for me.  Truthfully, God knew we were right for each other.  The Yin to his Yang.  We gave each other balance in our then chaotic life.  

It’s an attractive concept—your soulmate, the one person with whom you’re meant to spend your life. But finding “the one” isn’t always easy, and it’s common for people to second-guess whether or not they’ve found their perfect partner. After all, love can be scary, and marriage is a big commitment. If you’re going to go all-in with another person, you have to be sure that they’re the real deal. “The one” is a unique concept that means different things for different people, and that makes it tough to know exactly who’s right for you. However, here are a few key signs that can tell you if your relationship is built for the long haul.

When you found the one, that person will make you BETTER, not BITTER.  Here are 5 ways to know you found the one:

  1. You Feel Truly Comfortable with Them

Goofy, no problem.  A little too hood, no problem.  When you are comfortable to be you around the other person, they are right for you.  Even if you have to change some of your ways to make it work with the person, this helps to show you who you are and/or who you have become because of the other person.  No one should get into a relationship to change the person, but instead, possibly help them become better people.  Each relationship/marriage should consist of growth.  Not just with each other, but also within each self. 

  1. They Support Your Dreams

For me and my husband, this was a task we knew all too well.  I am one who likes to challenge myself.  I am also finding the next thing to concur and/or the next certificate to achieve to grow my brand and my possible business(es).  He decided at his mid-age to go back to school, to study trade, and to make a better living for us.  As we are both doing things that will financially be better for both of us, there were sacrifices that needed to be made, but the good thing is we made them as a TEAM.  So as crazy or far-fetched as your dreams are, if you have the one, they will support you 110%.  Be each other’s biggest cheerleader.

  1. You Want Them To Meet Everyone Else In Your Life

When you have found the one, you want everyone to know.  You start to share pictures via social media.  You attend (as a couple) to different functions, happy to no longer attend alone or with a friend.  You tell mom, you have great news and where she is hoping for a grandchild, you announce “not quite yet mom, but I have someone I would love for you to meet.”  Sometimes without you saying anything, others notice a “glow” about you.  Not everyone is happy for you, so some may want to introduce their special someone and some may want to just enjoy their “one” by themselves.  Truthfully, whatever makes you happy.  

  1. You Know How To Fight With Them

In life, for most, we learn how to love, but who really teaches how to fight fair with your mate.  It is not at that given time of an argument, that you throw jabs or cheap shots.  If that is something you were feeling or something you wanted to say, then the right thing to do is to sit and have a conversation.  Do not hold onto anything.  Do not harbor ill-will or bad feelings for your mate.  Have conversations and discussions.  Communication is key.  Let the other know what bothers you or what or whom you do not like and why.  If the other person is the one, they will sit and communicate with you and not to others outside your home and they will want to fix the wrongs because there should be two places you should have peace “Your home and your grave!”  

  1. Their Happiness Matters To You

Yes, when you decided to become one – you decided to not be selfish but to be selfless.  To consider the other person’s feelings were and are an important factor in making anything work.  How they feel should matter.  How you feel should matter.  Each person should take into consideration and before they act or say, think if the shoe was on the other foot, would you like it?  Happiness comes from within and each person should make themselves happy, but if you are married to someone, their happiness should also matter.