It’s been almost a week when I said I would continue the next day. I have more than commitment issues in my “personal” life. LOL. I just have a lot going on in this mind of mine, and sometimes it’s no joke. There are times when I have a writer’s block, or I just don’t feel like writing. But there is something quite beneficial to my continuing a week later… it’s had time to marinate.
In any case, my ex-husband apologized, and it made me realize just how much of the past, and my past with him was still very much a part of my present.
Not only was his admission my freedom papers and an emotional release that one could never imagine, but we have been much more civilized in our communication with one another since.
It’s an excellent feeling to FINALLY be “coming into your own.” I realize that the more I LET GO of the unwanted things, emotions, relationships, friendships, people, etc.. the more room I have to BE everything I want to be and DO everything I would like to do. I think in life; sometimes human beings spend way too much time on seeking to be vindicated when there is no room for such a desire when we don’t impose being validated through acceptance as a requirement or prerequisite to our feeling capable and good about ourselves.
Either way, I had been playing the role of LOST and FOUND for way too long. I LOST myself in my past pains, regrets, and failed relationships, and now I’ve FOUND ME again under all that rubble. This time, I will be more careful about where I place ME and pay more attention so that I don’t ever lose contact again.