Waking Those Sleeping Dogs Within

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, September 21, 2020, at 1:00 pm

I don’t usually blog on the weekends, although I am seriously considering it was going into the New Year. I am writing today because it is the last day for the calendar year 2011, and I am very much looking forward to the closure of this part of my life. It’s been almost 12 years since I woke up from that coma and was on my death bed. And for the past 12 years, my life has seemed like no more than 12 months as I reflect upon it. Time is speeding up more and more, and I am just trying to catch my breath.

I made a lot of strides in this last month of the year. I confronted my past, a major childhood trauma, a significant adult trauma, and I finally have the closure and peace I needed so very long ago. While I did not have the outcomes or words I expected from my confrontations, I had the events that took place that has plagued me all of these years, settled within my spirit, and I can honestly say with confidence, “it is well with my soul.” I have peace, I have understanding, I have forgiveness, I have compassion, I have grace, I have mercy, and now I can go on and move forward.

There are times when I have found myself being selfish, and this was one of those times. For once, I did not want to consider the hurt or feelings of someone else and what my “confronting” them would do. For once, I just wanted to be selfish and resolve what was within. For the past two months, I have been re-visiting my past hurts and pains. I’ve been unlocking memories of a traumatic childhood experience, and it has not been a natural toll. It was one that needed to happen, the last journey down a road of pain and anguish that changed my entire life and the decisions I made growing up. It turned who I was, who I was to become, and how I would see men, women, the church, relationships, and, unfortunately, myself.

 

My prayer is for those whose lives I shook up in return for their shaking up my life, is that they walk with GOD’s peace and love for the rest of their years. My prayer is that all be well with them and for them. I am grateful that I can say IT IS FINISHED and mean it.

Waking those sleeping dogs within me cause me to let those dogs out, and now that I have, they no longer have the presence to weigh me down.

I no longer have to feed them, walk them, put them back to rest, or watch them sleep. I don’t have to be scared they will bite me. I don’t have to be afraid of they will be awakened by anyone else. And I’m so glad!

 

 

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