By Julz Pulley

There’s a saying that hate only hurts the hater. If you are caught up in burning time thinking about someone who did you wrong, you should know that there is no better way to waste your time. Congratulations! You’re the bigger loser. It took me more than a minute to come to terms with this fact. Sit with this for a while. The reason why you have not seen your assailant get their comeuppance probably is because someone loves that clown more than you ever could hate him. If you are willing to listen carefully, you can even hear when the ball of your hate is met with the bat of the righteous, God-fearing, faithful prayer, or, in other words, the goodwill that someone has for him.

I give you subject SH and no SH does not stand for the beginning of a much loved expletive. About two years ago, SH opened the kimono on male tactics regarding female manipulation. Even before this arguable betrayal, SH already was doing well, despite being a lightening rod of sorts. Though legions of men would like to pile onto him like so many tons of bricks, it merely would amount to a pound of feathers. Why? Because someone loves that clown more than multitudes ever could hate him.

A mother will sit with her child’s detractors and present a reasonably calm facade as they list his myriad of transgressions, justifying why hounds should be unleashed on her child, why he should be chased from the village, with torches and pitchforks. But, at the end of that meeting, mother calmly will stand, thank them for their time and ask them to say hello to her little friend, tell them how they will die if they touch her baby. That mothers love their goon-children more than the alleged villages that could not raise them, hardly is surprising.

Well, consider this-Heavenly Father, the uber-mother, if you will, operates in much the same way. Think about it. If He handed out punishment to transgression in a 1:1 ratio, He definitely would have to call on the rocks to praise Him; as there would be no one else. There would be black holes in every preschool. We have to be like Him and let most things slide. You know, slow to anger and all that good stuff in the Good Book.

Stop me if you heard this one. A person went to heaven. As St. Peter ran his finger down the manifest, the person was able to see a few names of folks he never thought would make it that high. He walked through the gates with his mouth agape, still in shock. But, as he entered he saw what must be identically agape looks settling on him, as well. Got it?

Words (and thoughts) are power. So, when you lay your bitter vengeful yearnings on your well-tended alter of vengeance, with no equivocation, you have to be prepared for some of that bile to splash back onto you. That’s the way it works. And, that is why we are taught to forgive, at the least. We are encouraged to skip hate.

Now, let’s study the opposing team. I more than suppose that that team occasionally and eagerly offers up beatitude on their loved one’s behalf. From a historical basis, whose entreaties do you think are more welcome, will find purchase? The Bitter- Betty’s, who only has foul smelling offerings or the one whose prayers, praise & supplications are like perfume? God inhales those fragrances and sneezes out untold blessings. OK, “exhales” sounds better. Personified, your hopes and dreams for your assailant’s comeuppance encounter those beautifully scented prayers of protection. The two meet like super hero angels (indulge me, all right?).

But, your angel gets the smack-down, every time! So much so that they no longer battle, out of exhaustion on your angel’s part & mercy on the opposing angel’s part. In a sidebar, many moons ago, they decided to meet at some coffee shop, instead. They hang out until you become distracted by something far more important, like ear wax or belly button lint. As a matter of fact, your angel wants you to “Get over it!” She even tried to swap you out. But, the other angels said “No haps on the craps”. Really, they did.

Now all this is not to say that rewards are not meted out per deeds. After all, if bad things happen to good people, it follows reason that bad things also happen to bad people. God is not crazy, just unpredictable, in our limited understanding. Though He did say,

“I will bless those who bless you & I will curse those who curse you.” Pretty predictable stuff, right? In my humble opinion, He uses our wishes for others to manifest upon us our individual conditions. Are you getting the pattern, yet? Seeing a trend?

By now you know that a big part of being human is being fallible. At some point (more likely points), you too have transgressed, fallen short, have said/done something, through your flesh vs. your heart, something so heinous, so unforgivable, so wretched that it caused someone to pray a mighty prayer that you, yourself be smote from the earth. Something, like deliberately and with malice of forethought broke up a marriage or worse … a Buzz Lightyear doll. (Never, ever underestimate juvenile wrath. Consider your warned.) Yet, here you are … still able-bodied, rash free, not emitting foul odors. Your nether regions still function and you don’t need round-the-clock medical attention because of some unfortunate commode incident—as your former mate has wished for you. Well, just as you thrive, despite your detractors, so too is your hate mail blocked by knee-mail or the garden variety well-wisher.

It must be frustrating when your target skips by, nonplussed, even as you pull out your portable cauldron and get to pricking of thumbs. Someone loves that clown more than you ever could hate him. Let it ease your mind to know that you’re probably not the first person that that person has injured and you likely won’t be the last. So, let him unwittingly skip past as you pick up the remnants of your heart, his being light as a feather. Take consolation in knowing that some days you’re the The Skipper and others, well, you’re the Skipee. 🙂