It takes consistent personal effort and that moment of lining up with that decision to eliminate things, tasks, people, that consumes and drains you to the end. Or else, there aren’t many changes to your current pattern of thoughts and the way you carry yourself in your day-to-day. You’re always tired and emotionally drained and a chore to be with, still dumping your problems and issues onto other people. Or vice-versa, having people do that to you.

What goes around comes around. That’s what a vicious cycle is. You get back the same thing you put out there for others. That – is the balance of nature. It circles right back to you. You are still giving away what you don’t have; I call it having your emotions “in deficit.”

Whether you harbor great insecurity and fear for-aging, for your weight, your finances, your relationships, any single one of that (individually) is considered being emotionally tied down, as trivial as it may seem. As long as you carry stress and harmful habit of thoughts about any single aspect of your life, you are not entirely “free.” If it pops up in your head regularly and lingers around, you are not free. Most people just grow accustomed to all these negative feelings over a period that it eventually feels “normal” to have it stick around in their life experience.

When was the last time you said or heard, “someone said the other day… someone told me last week… I heard from someone… ” over your conversations? If that “someone” isn’t YOU, keep it to yourself and don’t pass it on to anyone. Even if that someone is your mother. Especially if it is your mother…. If you’ve never tasted it, tried it, felt it yourself, don’t tell someone what “someone else” said. That’s like trying to feed a person food that your pet dog wouldn’t even steal a sniff. If you haven’t yet tasted it, don’t offer it to someone else.

Don’t blindly believe everything you see and hear without experiencing it for yourself to know that it truly serves you well too, and don’t doubt anything you’ve never seen or heard before, at first chance without trying and write it off without thinking twice. In short, have a mind of your own; A strong and sturdy one that will tide you through the harshest of conditions. Making the shift (learning how to) to decide to follow your own heart (& own mind) lays the foundation to customize yourself a belief system that serves YOU well. Permanently.

Self-love & worthiness is validated not by the compliments people pay you, but from your acceptance to love and honor yourself completely. Each time you feel the need to hear praise to feel good about yourself, you shoot yourself in the foot, and when you continuously need someone’s approval to appreciate your very own self, you will never feel free for the rest of your life.