By: Cecile Anthony
Lord, I thank you for my life. This is my dedication to You for all that you have done for me and continue to do for me. I always say “I’m Not Supposed to Be Here” and people look at me and wonder why I say that.
I know I still stand here because of You and for that I am thankful. I know I have so much more than I expected and for that I am grateful. I know I have been given countless opportunities that I do not speak of and for that I am blessed. No one knows my story, nor do they know my testimony, but today I shall reveal. I can sit here and tell everyone we serve an awesome God, not because of what You did for them, but for what You do for me.
I lost count of the number of times, regardless of how hard I worked, I sometimes was not sure how I was going to pay a bill, but it was paid. I remember the many times I smiled in the light of the public but cried in the dark of my privacy, yet every day I woke up with joy in my heart. I have been beaten but not broken.
When I look back at my life, it is definitely nothing compared to a lot of people, but my life Lord, I thank you. When I visited a cousin and knocked on the door and a neighbor put a gun to my head (high off crack), it was You Lord who did not allow that trigger to be pulled. When I stood in the lobby of a building waiting on family to attend a party and they stormed the building looking for someone unbeknownst to us and put that gun to me and my sister’s chest and said “do not lie to me, where he’s at”, it was You once again who did not allow those triggers to be pulled.
When I went to the doctors and they said NO, it was You Lord who said YES because You were not ready for me. You knew all those times; it was not my time. You knew that my work here on earth was not done and it is because of You Lord that I can talk without judgment, I can preach without condemnation, and I can live without hate. So many gospel artists sing my testimony through song and I can hear it and cry, because I know I have You, Lord, to thank for my life.
I can go on and on about the many times You been there for me, but we have had those talks before and You said “My child, I know, just let it go!” People…when I say we serve an awesome God, TRUST ME, we serve an awesome God. For those that complain daily, then you need to check your faith. It might be your faith that is wavering that is allowing your packages of blessings to be sitting behind a closed door in His warehouse, instead of being delivered into your life.
I can shed tears of pain, but instead, I prefer to shed tears of joy. I have lost or distanced from so many and I know not to worry, because they were seasonal folks. I know that the life I have planned for myself is not Your Plan Lord, so I am ready for what You have in store for me. It is true “every time I want to quit, I am reminded of the nails!” People wonder how I can give and do to the point where I leave nothing for myself, it is because Life gives me satisfaction.