Storm Proof



By:  Cecile Anthony-Bryan

If you have not done so already, maybe you should open up to your mate about finances.  Waiting or avoiding the topic, sometimes makes it harder on the relationship/marriage.

As they have always said “More Money, More Problems!”  That saying is true.  Yet, no money can also cause a strain on the relationship/marriage as well.  One fact is true, money does not make you happy.  Happiness comes from within and what you share with each other.

An open communication with your mate is always good.  Just like with children, if you two build a foundation and trust wall, where it is ok to discuss topics with each other (whether they want to hear it or not), always helps when looking for an amicable solution.  No one wants to lose love over money.

Here are three ways to protect your love (and your money):

  1. Never compete with each other. No one should ever let the other person feel when since they are the bread maker in the family, they rule the house.  STOP! You are making a big mistake.  Figure out how to make both finances work and figure out how to make both finances count.  Work the bills out where no one person feels overburdened with stress on how to manage.  Forget the old-fashioned rule that the man should pay all the bills.  Yes, it would be nice, but not every household is set up like that.  Today’s women don’t have a problem paying half or helping out, as long as their contribution is appreciated and not overlooked.  Remember, this is a relationship, not a competition.  Team work makes Dreams work.
  1. Are you secretly spending money? Well, for the record, it is not cute nor sexy.  Sure we were all taught that have an account with your mate, but also make sure to keep one for yourself.  Yet, if your habits of (secret) spending is becoming more of an addition, than a fad, then maybe you should start to fess up to your mate.  Maybe he or she might be able to help you find other resources to spend the money.  You might have been so caught up with pleasing yourself that you didn’t notice the things the money could have actually go towards.  Remember, in a relationship/marriage, you should be selfless, not selfish.
  1. The budget should not stop your gift giving. Don’t use the fact that money was tight on why you couldn’t give a gift.  For some, the gifts wanted could be memorable and not material.  For some, spending time, instead of spending money is all that they needed.  If you cannot afford to go out to dinner, then cook and surprise your mate with a meal at home.  The same rule goes for the movies.  Most importantly, even if the person is aware that money is tight, do not just assume it is ok.  Explain to your mate that although you could not afford a gift, you have a gift of love and you will make it up at a later time.  Sometimes when you assume things are ok, you make an ass, well you get it.