The dating scene has changed and suffered LOVE BOMBING they have yet to delete their online dating
tremendously and it’s pretty much all thanks to our smartphones and social media. Of course not everyone has fallen into this dark hole, but for those of you that may have gotten lucky to find someone, learn the signs before you continue to waste time.
I say this to not scare you but to prepare you that maybe not everyone is looking for what you are looking for. Love is out there. Emotionally available men and women do exist, and you can find them. You just need to stop wasting time on the ones who are definitely not available to commit – emotionally or otherwise.
Thanks to social media, we can come up with new terms for behaviors such as “Bread Crumbing”. “Bread Crumbing” is usually when you meet a person and you like them and they seem to like you and you assume they like you because they send you greeting texts and “thinking of you” messages, but a plan to get together or to do something publicly seems to never happen. Most times when you try to engage in that type of conversation, you either get ignored or false promises are made.
“Love Bombing” is the complete opposite of “Bread crumbing”. “Love Bombing” starts off like “Bread crumbing”, but difference is they start off acting like they are immediately in love with you, praising you for weeks and/or months and then the transformation begins. After the infatuation wears off, then they suddenly act like you two are no longer compatible and they are done with you and move on. Avoid self-blame in this situation; you most likely didn’t do anything, they just have to move on to their next victim. They have a sick pattern of making people fall in love with them and then leaving them.
People who “cushion” will semi-commit to dating, but still flirt with other people as a means of leaving their options open. Are they hiding their phone from you or avoiding deep emotional intimacy/ connections with you? The biggest clue that you are dating a “cushioner” is that
profiles or they seem to still post uncomfortable pictures of them and their “so-called friends.” They like the comfort of being attached to someone, but yet still comfortable knowing they are still wanted by others.
NOT POSTING ABOUT YOU
Of course, the best relationships are the ones kept in private, but if the public does not know who you are dating (even without the constant posts of pictures and/ or affirmations of love), then most likely they are still interested in attracting others. If you tag your significant other in pictures and either they do not do the same and/or they don’t allow it to be seen on their page, take it as a sign that they are not that into you. Being proud is pride and you should show pride in your relationship.
AVOID DTR (Defining The Relationship)
People who are avoiding defining the relationship, are avoiding being in a relationship. They don’t want to call a date a date. They prefer to refer to you as their “friend.” They tell you people don’t need to know what we doing. The best is when they consider what you do “just handing out” and/or they say “let’s just see where it goes.”
Remember, another person’s inability to commit most times has nothing to do with you, sometimes they are just incapable of loving you. Stop convincing yourself it will get better with time. Do not decide to marry someone who show you “incapable” signs. We all struggle with relationships and sometimes when we are not accustom to a certain type of person, it is harder to let go of what we are accustom to and that is the ones that are no good for you. Lastly and most importantly, a relationship is the foundation of what your marriage will be. How your relationship is, most likely are signs of what your marriage will be.
If you still have faith that you two are meant to be together, then give it a little longer to see how it works out and/or seek counseling, but don’t spend a lifetime loving someone who does not love you.