Now that you’re on your own, you may find that the only thought that seems to be going around in your head is: how to get your boyfriend back? The good news is that no matter how impossible it may seem for the two of you to get back together, it’s not. It can happen, but you need to know what to do, and more importantly, what not to do.

Of course, you have to be very careful that you’re not just a little lonely and depressed and that is the only reason you want your ex back. That is not a good reason to try to reconcile with someone.

You also don’t want to even consider getting back with your ex if there has been any type of abuse whether physical, sexual, or verbal. If you’ve put up with that from your ex boyfriend, you need to get some counseling on your own before you enter into any relationship, otherwise you will likely only continue the same vicious cycle over and over again.

Here are the things you will need to know if you want to reconcile with your ex:
1. First don’t call or text him morning, noon, and night. Give him some space. You don’t want him to think of you as some needy woman, that is not a turn on and it’s a good way to push him away even further.

2. Be honest about the problems in the relationship and what part you played in them. I don’t mean sit around with your friends and complain about all the stupid things he did. I mean you concentrating on you and all the stupid things you did…and how you can make changes.

3. Once you’ve given him some space and given the shortcomings of your relationship some honest thought, contact him. Tell him that you still care and that you’d like to get together to talk.

4. If he says that he feels the same way, great. If not, then tell him you’re sorry things didn’t work out, that you still care for him and you hope he can find happiness again. I know it would probably be easier to eat a bug than to say those things, but it’s important. You have to show him that you really have changed and if this really is the end, you want him to remember you like that instead of some screaming crazy woman.

5. When the two of you meet make sure to keep things light. Under no circumstances should either of you bring up the past. Instead, just get to know each other again. If things go well agree to meet again and then you can discuss the changes each of you is willing to make in order to make the relationship work. 6. You may want to find something to help you through this process. Either a self help book or the aid of a therapist. It’s just so easy for the two of you to start back down that negative path of blame and resentment that you were on before. Having a guide can help prevent that before it starts. Give it a try, it just may work for you.