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Demetrius G. Rainer-Advocate/Speaker/Columnist

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Demetrius G. Rainer-Advocate | Speaker | Columnist

Demetrius G. Rainer, JD is a former Federal and State Criminal Defense Attorney that has been on both sides of the aisles in the courtroom, on one side defending citizens that had been charged with a crime and on the other as a defendant fighting for her life.
“Dee” as she is affectionately known, is an outspoken Criminal Justice Reform Advocate that focuses on collateral consequences of conviction and how they are hurdles to successful re-entry for returning citizens. Due to her being impacted by collateral consequences of conviction, Dee became Founder and Executive Director of My Meta Re-Entry Services.

Demetrius G. Rainer
Demetrius G. Rainer

Demetrius G. Rainer mission is to remove barriers for returning citizens, reduce recidivism, increase public safety and spur economic growth, by providing resources, information, wrap around services, advocacy and case management to returning citizens for successful reintegration.
Dee is an Executive Board Member for Scotland County Re-entry Council; 2019 Faces of Women Imprisoned Inaugural Co-short Member; Criminal Justice Reform Columnist for Hustle Mama Magazine; Chief Operating Officer and Co-Founder of Renew Life Group, LAC an Outpatient Mental Health Center for Adolescents and Adults;

Dee’s life mission is to see that states repeal all collateral consequences of conviction so that “Time Served” really means “Time Served.”

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Demetrius G. Rainer, JD is Wanting to Have the Say So and Last Word…

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oh and…On a Mission to Ensure that the Letter of the Law is to the Letter and that their Words Mean Exactly What They Say

HMAG: What was life growing up like for you?
Demetrius G. Rainer: Life growing up for me was easy. I have two older siblings, a brother and a half-brother. Both my parents were teenagers when I was born, and I am sure they had their struggles but me and my brother didn’t suffer. My mom spoiled all of us, including my dad. My dad made sure we were well provided for and disciplined us when necessary. My dad’s only requirement was for me and my brothers to go to school, study hard and make good grades. My parents just celebrated 50 years of marriage.

HMAG: When did you realize what you wanted to do with your life?
Demetrius G. Rainer: I knew early that I wanted to be a lawyer. Maybe by the age of ten. I was drawn to legal shows on TV. I was always opinionated, inquisitive and had to have the last word.
HMAG: Were you a dreamer in your younger years?

Demetrius G. Rainer: Yes, I was a dreamer when I was growing up. I still am. I dreamed about being Diana Ross!! I Loved Her. I can’t tell you how many times growing up I watched Mahogany and Lady Sing the Blues. I also wanted to marry Billy D. Williams.

HMAG: What did you want most to be from those dreams? Is it what you are doing today?
Demetrius G. Rainer: As I stated earlier, I knew early that I wanted a career in the legal profession. So, I went to law school and began practicing law. As for my profession now, being the Founder of My Meta Re-Entry Services, (will be up and running soon) and being a Criminal Justice Reform Advocate, I was thrust into this role due to my being adversely affected by the Criminal Justice System. For almost a decade, I was a Federal and State Criminal Defense Lawyer. I also practiced Real Estate Law. However, after making some unwise decisions in my law practice, I was ultimately disbarred and charged with Money Laundering and Mortgage Fraud. I was sentenced to 36 months in prison and ultimately served 1 yr and tens days. I went from a successful up and coming defense and real estate lawyer to a defendant. I thought I would die. However, through this adversity, I had to reinvent myself. I had to think outside the box and do something different.

I became a Criminal Justice Reform Advocate more specifically focusing on Re-Entry services and collateral consequences of convictions because I have been adversely impacted by this system and collateral consequences of my conviction continue to hinder me, long after my release from imprisonment.

HMAG: What makes you do what you do?
Demetrius G. Rainer: What makes me do what I do, is because of my own personal experience and the experience of others that have been negatively impacted by the criminal justice system.

Don’t BE AFRAID TO REINVENT YOURSELF

HMAG: What do you hope for your legacy?
DGR: As for my legacy, I would like to change the Game in the arena that I am in. I would like to work effectively to change laws in the criminal justice reform arena. I want to be a trailblazer in the game. So, when you hear my name it will be synonymous with changing laws and getting things done in criminal justice reform.

HMAG: If you were able, what would you change about the world we live in?
DGR: If I could change one thing in this Nation, I would like to see this Nation become a Nation of second chances where time served really means time served.

“I would like to be remembered most as a servant. I live to serve others…I serve with a Servant’s Heart. I am guided by God and I ask God daily to guide me and allow me to be a blessing to others.”
Dee Rainer

HMAG: Who were some of your life influences?
DGR: Nelson Mandela. Why: This is a man that was sentenced to life imprisonment ultimately served 27 years in prison in a country that wanted his soul, his spirit, his mind and body, a country that wanted him dead…And within 4 years of his released he became the 1st democratically elected President of that Country!!! That is remarkable. He had an indomitable spirit, the will to press on and persevere. How can’t you admire a person like that?

White Shirts and White Blouses

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White Shirts and White Blouses

White shirts and white blouses are the cornerstone, of my wardrobe. In fact, I believe they should be the cornerstone of everyone’s wardrobe. Just like a White T-Shirt or Black Turtleneck they’re clean and focused, yet have an amazing opportunity for interpretation and diversity.

The White Shirts and White Blouses can display poise, femininity, strength, professionalism and an official stance, in many eyes. It’s a basic beginner piece and finishing touch, all at the same time.

Just like the Little Black Dress, white blouses and white shirts are an essential item in anyone’s wardrobe.  Yet unlike the black dress, it’s appropriate for a picnic, disco, date night, carnival, interview, black tie event and even a funeral. It goes with jeans, a classic pair of pants in ANY COLOR, a skirt and even as an under pinning with vest, jackets, overalls or the right Little Black Dress.

If you haven’t been hip to this idea, I hope you’ll allow me the opportunity to change you mind.

TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN MUCH IS EXPECTED

It’s not all “Happy Go Lucky” with your white blouse. While there will be so many opportunities for you to wear it, there are so many obstacles out to get you.

STAINS:

a good stain fighting pen on hand is always helpful. Try to remain mindful so you don’t need the pen, but mistakes happen, so arm yourself accordingly!

COLOR TRANSFER OR BLEEDING :

Another form of stain, blue jeans, black leather and colored napkins can be out to get your white shirt. I find the best thing to do is just take a zen approach and know it may happen then be prepared to show your top some love afterwards.

CLEANING:

I always find it best to follow the cleaning instructions in any garment, but with white blouses and white shirts, we tend to panic. Spot cleaning is good (for stains) followed by regular cleaning as follow up.

YELLOWING FROM DRY CLEANING:

It’s just the way it is. Your white top will start to yellow, because of age, oxidation and chemical cleaning products, this is unavoidable.  Yellow happens very slowly and sometimes unnoticeable until you’re in a situation with a brand new white shirt; it’s like the tissue test for white teeth! Now you have a decision to make, ignore it (keep) or invest in a new shirt (toss).

NOW THAT YOU KNOW:

Now that we’ve gotten all the details out of the way, I urge you to make good investments, in this product. I’m my opinion, you can’t have too many. You can have so many types, fabrics and styles of white shirts, it’s mind boggling. Take this basic item and prepare to make it anything but basic. Think of different necklaces, pins, scarves you can wear with your white shirts and white blouses and experiment. You can essentially wear a different one everyday and make a statement .

ONE MORE THING: IT HAS TO FIT!

Now, this is a subject I’ve mentioned before, but it bares repeating for this important garment; it must fit well. If the blouse is too tight in the shoulders, squeezes your back, is too tight in the armholes or so oversized you feel swallowed, it’s not right. Make sure your top fits your body well. You should look and feel comfortable remember the fact that white highlights too many imperfections, to explain away.  Make sure it looks good across the bust and back and while oversized can be, fun make sure it looks like it was on purpose with the correct look in your bottom and accessories.

WAYS TO WEAR YOU SHIRT

WEAR IT: tucked in with a pin at the neck or collar
WEAR IT: untucked with a belt, scarf and skirt
WEAR IT: sleeves rolled up unbuttoned with another top underneath such as a lace tank or stripped top and jeans
WEAR IT: tucked with a large statement necklace and finish off with a classic pant or skirt
WEAR IT: completely clean no jewelry and an extravagant bottom, so the top is your support piece(Co-Star of the show)
WEAR IT: tied at the wait with a long flowy satin or sequins skirt.

Imagine these ideas with your basic white blouse/shirt, but then start to think how far you can go with a more elaborate top; one which is pleated, with an unusual neckline, such as a mandarin collar or bow, enormous sleeves or a grand bib detail. You’re white blouse can also be made of linen, lace, chiffon, knit or a mixture of several fabrics and details. You can even start to design your own blouse, by being creative with ties, ribbons, scissors, safety pins and/or trinkets; with these items you can be as basic or ornate as you wish!

It’s YOUR white blouse, make it express your unique style!♥️

Every Day is Different

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Every Day is Different

Sometimes you’re having a wonderful morning; the sun is shinning everything goes easy, your clothes look great and you are out the door with ease. Other days your alarm didn’t go off, your having a hard time getting that hair together and you just can’t figure out WHAT TO WEAR!Every Day is Different and a strong and solid wardrobe with proper options and big enthusiasm can help make this portion easier. Let me offer some help.

STAY READY

I am a VERY firm believer of a healthy wardrobe, meaning some clothes being stuck, in the dry cleaners or any event that pops up at the last minute doesn’t cause a complete melt down.  We recently had articles regarding “The Importance of Basics” and how “Accessories” can increase your wardrobe options. These concepts never go out of style and will keep you from be caught off guard, in any situation. Basic pieces in your wardrobe such as a clean white shirt or a favorite pair of grey pants, which can be paired back to items, in the closet or a great statement necklace can make all the difference in your morning, rain or shine, up easy or a hard time getting out the door.
Also, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; why wait until that morning to pull it together?  Laying your clothing out the night before make life so much easier!  Organizing your top, bottom, shoes and accessory is a time saver, less stress and lets you focus or more fun ideas. Maybe you can use your extra time to some experiment with hair and makeup.

NEW CLOTHES HYPE

While I love new clothing, I also love having items that can be pulled out of the closet, properly accessorized and go. With this in mind, think of your wardrobe as part of a functional concept meaning, hair, shoes, nails, handbags and even the right attitude can help you get it together.

Make sure you have several accessories ideas for each outfit/dress. Make it your business to have a couple of necklaces, bracelets, shoes and/or hairstyles for one outfit. This process will help you remain prepared, not only does it help you organize it helps you think, in a way that offers the opportunity for future outfits and the best “Put Together” possible.

WE LOVE A SELFIE

We’ve become a society full of picture takers. I can’t speak for others but most of the pictures in my phone will never be published or posted. These are the pictures I use to remember details of places and things; so why can’t you use the same exercise, on your clothing? You can photograph items, on the bed or floor adding in jewelry, belts, shoes or put them on and take pictures. Create your own catalog, which can offer a opportunity to refer to when your feeling “not” as motivated, going on

a business trip, out on a date or attending a wedding, meeting someone you want to impress, trying out a new color/silhouette or need to feel sexy.

PREPARATION IS GOOD

The more effort you can put in upfront the more you create a window of opportunity that can be pulled together quickly and with confidence. How great is it to know exactly how that blouse will look with those pants instead of “Gee, I hope that will look good together.”

Preparing removes doubt, builds confidence and allows for less effort when it’s time to wear the outfit (e.g.-I realized the long black beaded necklace looks better with that top than the short pearls.)

“SHE’’S ALWAYS PULLED TOGETHER”
“Wow, she always looked great.” and “She’s always so pulled together!” is just what everyone can say about YOU, when you display the right intent and focus in your wardrobe. It’s all  in your effort and visual goal.  By utilizing the ideas I’ve mentioned, use social media to offer you inspiration, excitement and realize while everyday is different there is no reason you can’t maintain your same cynosure. You hold the power to make everyday work, for you.

HAPPY OUTFIT!♥️

Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

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taking accountability

Too many times, we find ourselves apologizing for things, and for what, half of the times we do not even know. Not just because it seems right, but also our conscious and inner being doesn’t want the stress from arguing to prove a point.

Today’s society seemed to have stopped taking accountability for their actions, and instead of owning their faults, they find a guinea pig and a way around being guilty of an activity that they partook in.

I, too, am guilty of the same. My spirit is so big, and my heart is so loving that I also tend to apologize quickly. To a point, I think the reason I apologize is in part because of my upbringing, whether it is something as far as not returning a call, answering a call, and keeping an appointment. One thing everyone knows “I Am A Woman Of My Word!” I do not say it unless I mean it. I do not accuse unless I have facts. I do not make an appointment unless I am sure it fits into my schedule. Yes, I, too, believe in “Fake It Until You Make It,” but I also am a firm believer that if you have nothing in life, you should at least have your word!

I wrote this piece to say to all those quick apologetic people who tend to apologize for being too kind; for being too good-hearted; for being a person guilty of giving the benefit of the doubt – don’t be sorry. Today, I want you to be Unapologetically. You! The beautiful spirit that God created. Unfortunately, not everyone has the same morals and way of thinking, but there is no need to apologize for everything. Yes, pick your battles and act accordingly, but there is no longer a need to apologize for being you.

There is truth in owning your faults and taking accountability for your actions and sometimes apologizing and meeting the other person in the middle, but you should not find yourself apologizing for everything you do. God created each of us differently for a reason. Yes, we can learn from others, and in no shape or form am I suggesting that you should change because of other people’s actions. I am merely saying, “Be You!” If today you choose not to apologize and that person decides that you are wrong for not doing so, although they know in their heart and spirit you are right, let them go. God does not remove people because He knows they are right; He removes them because He knows they are wrong. God knows your heart, and indeed, that is all that matters. Sometimes we have to allow people to lose us to see their wrongdoings. Sometimes we have to walk away to lessen the burden of the load we carry for others. Sometimes we have to be the one who says, “I Am Not Apologizing, Because I Did Nothing Wrong.”

Wedding Photo Vibes

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photograph

It’s Here! The Day Most Women Dream Of! Your wedding day is easily one of the most photographed days of your life. Traditionally, most people hire one photographer, because the great photos are usually of the bride. Honestly, if your photographer is good, he or she will know to schedule accordingly, so that you can capture those memorable moments of both the groom and bride. Yes!

 

It is important to catch those moments before the bride, but I think it is equally important to capture those memorable moments with the groom and his guys as well. Your photographer will likely have thousands of candids of the two of you as you tie the knot, cut the cake, and dance the night away. But before you walk down the aisle and hear the first click of the shutter, it’s a good idea to have a consultation with your photographer to ensure that every pose you want to be included will be there—because, after all, you only have one shot at your wedding day.

Here are 16 poses you’ll want to photograph for your wedding:

1.   Getting Make-Up Done:   Every moment before “I Do” is essential, and catching you getting glammed up is important too.

2.   Putting On Your Dress:    This is true when the magic begins. If you are lucky enough to have your mother present, this is true when the tears start to flow.

3.   The Men Sharing A Laugh:   As they sit around waiting, reminiscing and joking before they start to get dressed.

4.   Time To Get Suited Up:   All women want to see those special shots of them getting dressed, but they also secretly want to see how their groom looked, so it is also important to get pictures of the guys getting dressed.

5.   Putting Your Veil On All queens wear a crown, so it is fitting to get that right shot of you putting on your veil, as you prepare to go from Miss to Mrs.

6.   Let’s Toast To That:  It is essential to capture the shots of the bride and her ladies having a glass of champagne and saying a prayer, as well as the groom and his men, taking a shot of whiskey and a few puffs from a cigar.

7.   Bridal Portrait:  Time to take some candid moment of the future Mrs.


8.   Wedding Party Photos:   Let’s have some jokes, silly photos, and classic memories with the special people you chose to be a part of your special day.

9.   The First Look:  I am not a fan of the first look unless it is still a hidden moment, where we can capture the picture of both of us standing on opposite sides of the door. Most people like it, because it gives them a moment together, away from the crowd, and a moment to get most emotions out.

10.   The First Walk:   After you have said the I Do’s, he has kissed his bride and the nerves have settled, have the photographer take a picture
of you two from behind…. the new couple taking their first walk.

11.   Best Man/Maid of Honor Toast:   This moment is not just for photos, but it is vital to get this on videotape. If you did not hire a videographer, then hope someone videotapes it. Childhood stories, many jokes, and so much more.

12. The First Dance: This moment is so beautiful, between the shared looks, the smiles, the kiss, and the hold, so much sentiment is shared between the newly married couple. At this moment, no one else is in the room but them, well so it seems when you look at the happy couple.

13. You and Mom:  Mothers hold their babies safe through their life, but these photos show how proud they are of the man and woman their child has become and how happy they are of the person they chose to share their life with.

14. Cutting the Cake:  Make sure the photographer takes a few pictures of the cake before the couple stands beside it; a few with the couple and of course, a few when they feed each other.

15.   Throwing the Bouquet:   From the throwing of the bouquet to the removal and catching of the garter. The inner stripper seems to come out of the groom when it’s his time. 16.   Thank You From Bride & Groom:   As they stand to give their final thank you, and they share a few kisses. No better way to end the day, but with some more candid pictures of the newly married couple.

The Creative Mind

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Mental health for women vector

Creative Mind

We have all heard stories and witnessed the unraveling of creative people living wild, uncontrollable lives of madness, being genius, and yet still selfish with the thoughts that go on inside their heads. The ‘artistic temperament’ has now entered the cultural mainstream. While their work may be admired, creative people are sometimes dismissed as non-recognizable and non-relatable. In some circles, the term “creative” is tinged with contempt. That is far from real. A creative mind is sometimes misunderstood as anti-social and weird, but a person living with a creative mind seems to have the most fun.

The upside to having a creative mind is that you are always entertained because most times, your brain never sleeps and is also active with thoughts and ideas. When you have a creative mind, your wheels are still turning. You never get a rest from the commotion inside of your mind. Unlike most people, who work a nine to five job, you are unable to stop thinking about work once your head hits the pillow at night. You are inspired to create at odd hours. You wake up in the middle of the night with ideas on your mind. You do not get well-needed breaks during holidays and birthdays. You work through celebrations. Even if you have stepped away from your pencil or paintbrush to spend time with your loved ones, your mind is elsewhere. You are never fully present because you are always thinking, always planning. To me, the best part is being visual with conversations. I still have my coworkers dying with laughter, because we could have a chat or a joke, and within seconds, I respond via email with the visual aspect to that conversation and joke. They are always amazed at how I came up with that so quick or so precise. In my head, there is never a dull moment.

Now, the downside to a creative mind is that sometimes you may tend to think deeper into things, analyze more than usual and/or you are never satisfied with a project, until it comes across just right, wherein you give the person reading and/or watching, the feel of being in the shoes of the creative mind. When you have a creative mind, you are never satisfied. You never think you are doing enough. You push yourself towards the brink of exhaustion. You criticize yourself even when you are trying your hardest. You could get a million compliments on your work and will ignore them to dwell on the one negative comment. Yes, the creative mind is always striving for better.

As for me, my creative mind has taken me many places. I can travel the world and never get on a plane. My creativity started me out and has continued with my love of the arts, writing, and dancing. Still, I sometimes tend to think that I missed my calling and probably should have been in marketing, which was what I majored in high school, but had so many jobs, that I diverted away from it. Life teaches us lessons, and although I may not have followed my dreams of being a dancer and marketing, I still have had the opportunity to do so. With regards to dancing, the many years that I took, I can now teach a young woman or man the skills of perfecting the art of dancing and give criticism and compliment from the director’s eye. With marketing, I can entertain those around me with my visual aspects of the conversation, and I have been blessed to land the opportunity to write for this great magazine and contribute monthly to the meat of the meal when preparing the magazine’s content. I also self-teach myself in whatever field or hobby that I take on, and I am proud to say that I use my many skills to help others.

Conclusion

As the excellent quote says, “Pay It Forward.” I truly believe God has not blessed me with so many great stories, opportunities, and skills to keep it to myself. He is using me to teach and to empower, and I welcome every old and new face that I encounter. No complaints here, I love it! To those of you raising children, never stop them from their life interest, allow them to explore. You will be amazed at what their inner creative mind is thinking. Give them that white sheet or blank canvas and will enable them to paint their picture.

Author Barbie Scott

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Author Barbie Scott

A “Hood Romance Author” is how she likes to be described. Hustle Mama Magazine introduces to you, Barbie Scott. A California based writer who is using her God-given talents to the fullest.

Get to Know Barbie Scott

Barbie Scott
Barbie Scott

Growing up in a Trap has been bittersweet for this young author. However, it was a life lesson. Overcoming her suspenseful life in a gang, Barbie Scott has taken a more positive turn. “Barbie Scott, you have been through so much you need to write a book!” Those are the words Barbie normally from people that knew her stories (or better known these days as her truth). In 2016, Barbie was introduced to the ‘Authors Game.’ Adjusting her crown, The Queen began to write a very anticipating book series entitled ‘Trap Girl’ that reflects on her own life. The self-published author has written over 30 novels in such a short time and has over 20 published on Amazon. She has also sold thousands of copies street-wide from the trunk of her car. Her motto is “From Bricks 2 Books,” and she’s blessed to say she has made it this far and has become so passionate about her craft. Now stepping into film, she recently shot a sizzle for “Trap Girl,” in hopes of being picked up as a television series. The book game is no more accessible than the rap game and the TV/movie industry. It starts with a manuscript, but the hard work comes with creativity and drives to make these publishers recognize your skill.

“Street Chic With A Vision!”

HMM:   Tell us a little about your most recent book? What is the title, and what and who inspired you for this story line?

BS:   My most recent book is titled “A Boss Got Me In My Feelings, But A Savage Got My Heart” It’s a story about a girl who’s abandoned by her mother and went from foster home to jail. When she was released, she meets a young guy who takes her in. This guy is cocky, a true savage but lovable. Anyhow! He takes her in and provides for her. He has dreams of becoming a rapper, but he’s so consumed with his mother’s drug addiction he puts his life on hold. After some time, the girl “Lyric” becomes a stylist and lands a gig for a major producer. She sleeps with the producer to get Royal Kane a deal but then regrets it. I don’t want to give up any more of the book, loll. The story is inspired by life experiences as far as how people let fame change them. That’s what happens in this book with money and fame – Royal changes.

HMM:    Are you independently published? Yes? No? If no, please advise who are you published by?
BS: Yes, I am both. Miss Shan publishes me at Shan Presents, and I am also an independent author as well. I believe in the great words by Malcolm X, “By Any Means Necessary!”

HMM:   Where were you born, and where do you currently live?
BS:   I was born in the heart of Los Angeles, California (South Central). I currently live in Los Angeles, California. Although American born, the majority of my family is from Cuba.

HMM:     What was life like growing up for you? What kind of family did you grow up in?
BS:    Life growing up was rough only because of the violence I had to escape. Other than that, I had a crazy but dope family. My grandmother is a full-blooded Cuban, so we spoke Spanish around my home. Spanish was the first language I learned. My family is very close. At a very young age, I was caught up in a gang, and I was also raised in the Trap. Nothing to be proud of, but I’m proud of my accomplishments. I did not let my past life deter me from becoming a positive role model.

“From Bricks to Books!”

HMM:    How old were you when you knew this was your calling and what you were possibly going to do for the rest of your life?
BS:   When I was in junior high, I always wrote poems. I didn’t expect to become a writer professionally. About the age of 24, I picked up a pen and began writing my first book. Everyone that knew me always encouraged it. So finally, I gave it a shot. At the time I was an avid reader, I knew what would excite readers. When I got to about chapter 7, I tossed it to the side. Years later I picked it back up, only this time I used a laptop. I completed it. I got discouraged due to editing issues, and I almost quit (again). One of my friends checked the hell out of me and said: “You better write something else, but you better not give up!” So, I started writing “Trap Girl,” which is my best and favorite book written. I found another editor, and since then, I have not stopped.

HMM:   Are you involved with any workshops, and as an author, how do you help others accomplish their dreams, and what advice do you have for new upcoming aspired writers?
BS:   I’m not in any workshops or anything, but I do consultations via Facebook or Instagram. I want to tell any writer that’s up and coming never to give up. Make every story you write, whether its fiction or real, as realistic as possible. The goal is to capture your readers and make them feel like they are in the character’s shoes. Another thing, especially for male authors, no matter what, there should always be some love story in your novel. Remember, women are your biggest supporters, and women love a damn good love story. I am speaking as an author, a reader, and, most importantly, a woman.

HMM:      What books have you written? Have any been done as a playwright? BS: I’ve written tons of books, but my favorites are the “Trap Girl” series, there are five parts to the series. I’m also in love with “Me, U & Hennessy” and “Stealing The Plugs Heart.” “Trap Girl” is being pitched for a television series. I’m praying it gets picked up. So far, I only shot a sizzle reel. It’s going to be dropping soon. Another message for authors, “never be afraid to invest in yourself.” I took every dollar I had to my name and shot the sizzle. I spent $12,000.00 for 10 minutes. I don’t worry about the money, because if I put my heart and soul into it (which I normally do), I believe one day it will pay off. “Believe in your craft.”

HMM:     Would you consider yourself a driven person? What makes you a “Powerhouse”? What is the source of your strength?
BS:    The source of my strength is my life; my past life motivates me. The crazy thing is most people do not realize that your past can either make you or break you. I chose to allow my past to drive me to be who I am today and become better tomorrow.

“Turn Your Pain Into Your Greatest Purpose!”

Barbie Scott
Barbie Scott

HMM:    Are you currently working on any new books?
BS:     Of course, my pen does not stop! By 2020, I’ll have about 60 books. Loll. I’m working on a novel now called “A Hot girl Summer” that comes out in September, and I’m releasing “Heartbreak In The Hood” on or about August 10, 2019. HMM: What can we expect from you in the future?
BS:   TV shows and movies on the big screen and Netflix, whatever I can get my hands on, and whoever is willing to give this street-chic a shot.

HMM: How can they purchase a copy of this book?
BS: All my books are available on www.amazon.com, and for paperbacks, visit www.authorbarbiescott.com .

To follow Ms. Scott, see her social contact information below:

Website: authorbarbiescott.com
Twitter: autbarbiescott
Instagram: @authorbarbiescott
Facebook: Author Barbie Scott

Art Prodigy Tyler Gordon

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THE PAINTING PRODIGY WHO IS MAKING A BIG SPASH

PAINTING PRODIGY MAKING A BIG SPLASH – TYLER GORDON, a San Jose, California born, 13-year old young man, who has impressive painting skills and is making a name for himself around town.

In fifth grade, while many of us were running around on playgrounds, Tyler Gordon (“Tyler”) of San Jose, California, had just discovered his endless supply of painting talent. Tyler, who is now 13, paints black, white and gray portraits of celebrities he finds on television, or of people who want a portrait of themselves. He has painted Kevin Durant, Jay-Z, Beyonce, the Beatles, Oprah, and many more famous people. “His paintings are shadows and negative space,” said Nicole Kindle (“Kindle”), his mother.


He has sold dozens of paintings, started a Facebook page to promote his art, and has also appeared on Steve Harvey’s show, “Little Big Shots.” A budding entrepreneur, Tyler also promotes his art on other social media platforms,

June 2019, Tyler was at San Jose’s Juneteenth celebration at Plaza de Cesar Chavez, where he live-painted for several hours, fueled only by a bologna sandwich. He sold more than 40 paintings that day, he said.

Tyler’s living room in San Jose is filled with his painting supplies and the art he has made. He paints many free-art from images from tv or movies, and then there are some he paints while sitting on a stool. Lately, he said he’s been at it for about four hours every day, to fulfill the orders that have come pouring in since he appeared on “Little Big Shots” and at the Juneteenth festival. Despite Tyler’s accomplishments, his mom said that he is still a normal kid who plays outside most of the time, thinks he’s Superman, and always has to finish his homework.

“His school comes first,” Kindle said. “If I see a grade slipping, that’s a priority; the painting will have to wait.” Kindle was the one who encouraged Tyler to start painting, and she instantly recognized his talent. “I’ve never seen anything like that,” Kindle said on Oli Pettigrew’s TV show, “Right This Minute.” “I’ve been painting, and she instantly recognized his talent. “I’ve never seen anything like that,” Kindle said on Oli Pettigrew’s TV show, “Right This Minute.” “I’ve been pushing, trying to get him everything he needs.” Tyler’s accomplishments come despite life-changing hardships. For a while, he was in a wheelchair after breaking his hips, and he is nearly deaf, Kindle said. On Steve Harvey’s show, Tyler got a big surprise when one of his heroes, Kevin Durant of the Golden State Warriors, appeared in a video. “Keep inspiring,” Durant told Tyler. And undoubtedly, Tyler will.

Hustle Mama Magazine takes pride in featuring kids of “Our Future” and this month, we feature 13-year old Tyler Gordon. Here is his story.

“I love painting because it keeps me calm and makes me happy!”

HMM: What was life like growing up for you? What kind of family did you grow up in?
TG: Life growing up for me is excellent. My family is very close. I’m growing up in a fun family. When not in school, my family gets together to play games, go to the beach, church, and every Tuesday, my family has a movie night. Another thing I like to do is help feed the less fortunate.

HMM: How do you maintain your integrity in an otherwise very competitive and
scrupulous industry?
TG: I stay true to who I am. My mom taught me always to be humble and treat the janitor with the same respect that you treat the CEO with.

HMM: At such a young age, what makes you a POWERHOUSE? What is the source of your strength?
TG: I paint from my soul, from deep down. I guess you can say that I paint my feelings. I put some of me in every piece I do. My style of painting, as well as my speed, sets me apart from the other artist. When I did my first painting, which unbeknownst to my mom (I had it in me), I shocked her by the fact that I could paint, let alone the fact that I finished it in approximately 20 minutes.

“I love painting because it keeps me calm and makes me happy!”

HMM: Who are some of your earlier influences?
TG: My earliest influence is my mom. She paints good too. She also started painting at a young age. I like her style, it’s like mine, although the truth is I get it from her. I’m also influenced by Floyd Norman, Basquiat, and Bob Ross.

HMM: You have painted many celebrities from Kevin Durant, Jay-Z, Beyonce, the Beatles, Oprah, and many more famous people. Who is someone you would love to paint and sell a portrait to?
TG: I would love to sell a portrait to Former President, Barack Obama.

HMM: What advice would you offer to kids with a “DREAM”?
TG: I would say, “Never stop going after your dream!” I know, first hand, with determination, it will come true. I’m living my dream right now.

To follow Tyler Gordon, see his contact information below:

Facebook: Tyler Gordon Young Artist
Instagram: Official_tylergordon

Promises, Promises

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

THE POWER IS IN THE PROMISE… BECAUSE THE PROMISE IS THAT WE HAVE THE POWER!!!!

Last night I had to do a sermon on a national conference call line, and if I were to tell you of all the “nonsense” because that is precisely what it was, that took place beforehand, up until, and even DURING the call (yes during), you wouldn’t believe me. Let’s just say that by the end of all the “happenings,” my computer screen went completely black, and I was forced to deliver the message without my notes or scriptural references. OMG. I was like “c’mon now, not today”… LOL.

My message was THE POWER IS IN THE PROMISE, and while most of my scriptures dealt with and came out of John 14, I was pulling prophetic and promising words from all over the place. Here is what I shared.

If we were to approach our perception and view of GOD (or whatever you choose to call your Creator) through the eyes of A PARENT and the rite of passage of the entire parental/child relationship, I believe a whole consciousness shift would evolve. When we as human beings DECIDE, we are going to have a baby (PRO-CREATE), it is because we have the DESIRE to LIVE ON THROUGH our OFFSPRING. There is this YEARNING INSIDE of us TO IMPART WHO we are, ALL that we are, and EVERYTHING we have INTO THE REMNANT of ourselves. We do so WITH THE EXPECTATION that WHO COMES FROM US WILL BE born WITH OUR DNA, OUR CHARACTERISTICS, OUR IMAGE, and yes, even OUR ATTRIBUTES/HABITS. We become EXCITED AT the POSSIBILITIES OF their FUTURE as we wait WITH the HIGHEST HOPES FOR their BIRTH, their GROWTH, and they’re BECOMING all things and even MORE THAN we could ever DREAM FOR THEM or IMAGINE. THERE IS an attachment of JOY, PROTECTIVENESS, and PRIDE associated with OUR WORK IN AND THROUGH them. PARENTING is a job taken seriously and TO HEART. As parents, WE WANT ONLY THE best for our children, and we hope that they NEVER have to ENDURE PAIN of any kind IF WE can PREVENTit. It is IN OUR best EFFORTS that we sacrifice so that THEY SUCCEED, that we INSTRUCT and correct out of LOVE. We take the VOW of their care, and in all honesty, even after they’ve grown up TO BE and BECOME, the role of a parent never ends. As DESTINY would have it, we consider our lives to be about the PROVISION we can make and the legacy we can leave behind FOR GENERATIONS to come after us. And to think that at the end of the day THE BEGINNING AND THE END OF our lives, and EVERY MEASURE of it in-between, is in the ENDLESS and INFINITE POWER of the power OF  LOVE, which OF course is GOD BECAUSE GOD IS love and is IN US!

*And for those of you who are unclear as to what the actual promise is that gives you power, just read only the words that are in capital letters and bold and behold you will see the sign and the source of the power that lies within it!


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Disappointment

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disappointment

by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

FROM A PLACE OF HURT & DISAPPOINTMENT. Anyone who knows me knows that I do not play that SPEECH thing. I do not believe in speaking anything from my mouth that is not of and from a positive vibration.

I don’t care for and find negativity, the pessimism of others, and the lack of faith my fellow brothers and sisters have in themselves to be toxic, and I reject it with all of my might. I also, before today, never believed that one should ever write from a place and space of hurt and pain. I think that as long as the resolution has been met, then writing a painful experience and then capitalizing on the lesson learned from it is a good thing. I believe that is how we teach others and also set the examples needed for them to “avoid” our road traveled.

Well, today is a different day for me. Today has been so hectic from midnight last night, that I can’t help BUT write it. WHY? Because although the lesson will probably not be revealed to me until after the fact, there is certainly some value to this PROCESS and DIFFICULT place I’ve found myself.

I’m in the middle of all HELL breaking loose, and to be honest with you; I’ve never been one of those people who has ever been moved or swayed by its presence or attack. I’ve always gone with the flow, taken things in stride, and had this immutable tendency to be “aloof” to the probable repercussions of what the outcomes “could be.” Call it ignorance, call it nuts if you like, I prefer to call it as I see it, and that is a NON-ISSUE. The fact of the matter is I know that every thing I go through is about perfecting, improvement, learning, and REVELATION. When all HELL starts breaking loose, and I’ve allowed too many “newcomers” into my circle, then I know that I need to slow down and back up a bit. You see, you never know the remnants of what people speak out of their mouths and what they speak over your life. You never know what they are praying or secretly hoping for you. I guess that is why so many VERY SUCCESSFUL people keep their circles close-knit and TIGHT.

Anyway, I feel as if I’m on a boat that has found itself in the middle of a raging storm. I feel as if there is no life jacket on board to reach for. I feel as if my entire crew and traveling companions have bailed out. I feel as if I prepared, checked the weather, and have wholly been blind-sided and without cause at that. If I were to tap into the deepest parts of what I am feeling at this exact moment amid these exact circumstances…. as I close my eyes and take a deep breath, I would have to say GRATITUDE.

I am grateful for my strength and endurance that has been improved only as a result of previous and very similar occurrences. I am thankful for the source of my peace amid this confusion and the assurance that this source brings, while all of these things going on are being hurled at me from every direction. I am grateful for the revelation of seeing those I thought enough to invite on this trip opt to bail out because of their lack of faith and support despite their earnest professions of being down for whatever. But most of all, I am most grateful for being CREATED and BUILT TO LAST. That in and of itself has given me the POWER to STOP the rage of the atmosphere, REPEL the darts and arrows aimed at my heart, my mind, and my person, and ignite the FIRE within to ILLUMINATE and bring a beautiful outcome to an untempered process.

YEP, I think I’ll just keep being who I am, seeing things how I see them, and invoke the WISDOM that’s been gifted and imparted to me to UNDERSTAND the why, ACCEPT the who, and RESOLVE the what if. Yeah, I choose to let FAITH win this one!


CLICK HERE to Get Dr. Stefany’s latest FREE OFFER, Digital Empire Terms & Quick Ideas, and then in the CLICK HERE text Link it to this link.

 

The Rocks

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

COMING OUT FROM UNDER THE ROCKS. It’s been an amazing two weeks since my last post. My life is full of twists and turns of every kind, coming from every direction, heading into the deepest parts of every place of my person. My most formidable enemy has always been and continues to be my mind. There are times when I just don’t feel up to the engagement of going to war with my thoughts, especially the defeating ones which try to keep me in a place and space of regret, childhood traumas, young adult tragedies, and the stripes of the wounds of my past and present.

As I embark upon these MAJOR CROSSROADS in my career, in my love life, in my spiritual walk, and my home life, I realize that time is our biggest asset and can be an enemy at the same time. It’s so funny because the saying is to keep your enemies closer than your friends. If that is the case, then I need to be taking more stock in time and keeping her as close to my bosom as possible.

You see, there are never enough hours in the day, days on this planet, to accomplish and do what God has ordained for us to do. Mostly because purpose, for every one of us, has a considerable measure of HELPING AND DOING GOOD FOR OTHERS as its part of the whole. With that said, there are never enough hours in the day nor days on this planet to serve our fellow human beings. But just think of what total engagement of the entire human race would mean. Imagine a FULL ENGAGEMENT and launch of PEACE and troops being dispatched to WIN WARS WITH LOVE instead of machinery. You talk about a global impact; I am not sure that even those with mean-spirited attitudes would survive such an overflow.

In either case, I am learning how not to be overwhelmed with the things going on with ME or even with the sentiments of my heavy heart for OTHERS. Instead, I am learning that being overwhelmed is like being buried under rocks….. rocks of regret, stones of pain, rocks of trauma, rocks of sadness, rocks of betrayal, rocks of work pressures, family needs, etc.

The time has come for us to come out from under these rocks. Instead of carrying the dead weight of them all and allowing them to weigh us down, we can use them to build bridges over the gaps that exist between us, as we show each other that the rocks which we’ve brought with us to be our contribution to the build, are the same as everyone else’s.


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Love Happens

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love happens

The most beautiful relationships are when love happens. LOVE HAPPENS when BOTH parties are READY and WILLING. People are willing to be in relationships all the time and want to be.

Just make sure your readiness is intact when it should be so two very deserving people can begin to live the life of love and happiness destined for them both.

I’m feeling like a kid on Christmas… I am feeling the flavor of FAVOR, and it’s oh so sweet. I am grateful for loving and kind friendships and people in my life. Whoo, it’s so lovely to have friends who operate on and in the love vibration. It’s like food to the soul… soul food is LOVE FOOD… Keep LOVE in your hearts, and you’ll NEVER GO WRONG… GOD is love. KEEP GOD in your hearts, and you’ll always have loved there!

Okay, let’s move on out of LOVE and get into BUSINESS. Listen to people; sometimes you have to live the life you are passionate about and dream about on the side. You never know, one day your side hustle will be your only hustle. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS… they are your reminder of all you are supposed to be doing with your life.!

Any man can have any woman do anything he wants her to do. But what kind of woman can you BE for a man? Forget what you can do, who can you BE?

 

Smiling Faces

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smiling face

by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

I’ve had the most exciting last couple of days. It’s incredible how we GROW with every day’s experiences. If time is speeding up, then so is my growth – and noticeably so.  I am learning about my wants, needs, desires, triggers, and dreams. I am learning about what I can tolerate versus what is absolutely a deal-breaker for me in business partnerships, friendships, and relationships. I am learning to make better choices. I am choosing the STRUGGLE over the SUFFERING.

The mind is a funny thing, you know. It will talk you out of everything WONDERFUL, and convince you of everything that could ever be destructive and counterproductive to your cause as the only way to think and be. Then there are matters of the heart.

They say that your heart can’t be trusted, and all of my past; WRONG relationships are proof positive of that (smile). In my opinion, the heart LEAPS and then LOOKS afterward.

LOL. Ok, so now we have a mind that is saving us from the great things by keeping us in a place of complacency and comfort in half-truths, we have a heart that leaps before it looks and considers; so now what? That leaves us with our SPIRIT, our instincts, our gut intuition, our hidden voice, that guiding voice if you will.

With all of the subliminal messages fed to the hunger and thirsts of our minds and hearts, it is any wonder that the pulse of the spirit can still be felt and is measurable. Amazingly, people can always find their rhythm and stride in sync with the beat of that spirit. I know that as I grow spiritually, I find myself learning more about THE WALK. I am ever so enamored with the love the God of this universe continues to extend my way…. sometimes saving ME from my “self.”

It’s no wonder that people never know how good enough they are, and even a more magnificent spectacle once they realize it. Can you imagine the number of smiling faces you would see as you walk down the street?

Can you imagine a world where the people have joy on the inside that radiates on the outside and emits as smiling faces? WOW, that kind of love would undoubtedly be infectious, I’m sure. Well, since every bit of change starts with me, I think from now on, I’ll just begin to smile no matter what. From this day forward, I will no longer allow my face to assume the frown position. After all, I am blessed, and as long as I have been given the gift of another day, I’ve been granted the opportunity to make changes, have do-overs, and make a difference. Yes, I think I am excited. I can’t wait to see the results. Maybe I can help spread joy with the sharing of my smile, through a simple smiling face. Care to join me?


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A Purposed Plan of Life Through a Pruning Towards Perfection

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

There is nothing more challenging to go through in life than the pruning process. It never feels good, it’s sometimes bittersweet (depending on what’s being cut off), but is necessary for growth, beauty, and fruitfulness. It is amazing how different life looks from the “in your 40’s” window then all other looking glasses of your life. There is an unyielding amount of clarity that hindsight brings, and if you are not careful and securely grounded in WHO YOU ARE with a focus on WHO YOU ARE TO BECOME, what you discover through the looking glass can be devastating and lead to sadness, shame, and regret. However, WHEN you come to the understanding that the WHOLE ENTIRE YOU of who you are THIS DAY. It is filled with the ingredients of every little bits and piece of who you USED to be yesterday; you realize that every THING had its measure (whether great or small) in the savory recipe that makes up YOU.

The most profound statement I have found my Pastor RL Jackson to make, and the one I most closely identify with is this (and of course I’m paraphrasing because I can never seem to say precisely what he does… LOL) “…if you allow your yesterday to find its way into today, you have just killed your tomorrow”. My mantra is never to bring anything DEAD into what is ALIVE and THRIVING. When you bring your past pains, hurts, traumas, and regrets into your present, you are delivering what’s dead and gone into what should be thriving and poisoning it to the point of death without a yield. That is the premise and advantage of pruning. When trees are pruned, their dead is cut off so that preservation can occur. Likewise, in life, you must cut off the dead things, the offensive stuff, the stuff without yield, and fruitfulness (and yes, that also includes people as well) so that you can preserve what is alive and well on this inside of you. So that you can bare excellent fruit from your foliage. So that you can be all that you were destined to be in the first place.

We are never perfect, but we are certainly PERFECTED in our PURPOSE through the PRUNING PROCESS and believe you me, it was all a part of the PLAN from the very beginning. Now that you can take to the bank!


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A Hostage Situation

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lower self

by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

The Gift of Your Voice…There is no more anguishing a feeling than that of being STUCK. I believe that my moments, times, and lengthy durations of being in that space and place have been the stumbling blocks to my success. They have been the barriers to my happiness. They have been the obstacles in my way on the road to my dreams. There have been countless experiences, events, and circumstances that I have both learned and grown from. I have taken lessons to heart and, in some cases, to the head, and on a few rare occasions to the behind (LOL). Yep, I haven’t always taken the easy road, but the road less traveled of HARD KNOCKS on my behind and every which way BUT up! Through it all though, I somehow and in some way find myself in someone’s favor because I emerge victoriously every time. Some people don’t believe in luck, while others don’t believe in destiny or fate. I think in all of them. I KNOW that the mere fact that I am here breathing and able to write, speak, and be is a miracle in and of itself. For that reason, I take no one and nothing (not even my time) for granted.

As I was sharing moments with my friend last night in conversation, we ended up discussing freedoms, abilities, opportunities, and the measure and treasure of the RIGHT TO BE who you are and how you are. What I realized during that conversation were moments in my past, where I did not understand the GIFT of MY VOICE. If I am to be completely honest, I can say with the strength that even more recently, I easily could have found myself once again in a place of surrendering MY VOICE yet again. It’s the most daunting thing, this innate ability of ours to be creatures of habit.

In my case there are times when my BAD HABITS find their way front and center more than my good and then the games begin…. this battle of good vs. evil, of my flesh vs. my spirit, of my lower self vs. my higher self, the mean vs. the kind, etc..

I have learned that for me, my lower self exists SOLELY to SABOTAGE my higher SELF and everything right, everything beautiful, everything loving, and everything kind that desires to come forth from my life. Because of that, I could no longer IGNORE the engagement wishing, hoping, and self-talking it away… instead, I had to learn THE RULES, which I will share.

RULE #1: Negativity exists all around, and it all starts within. So when the moments of sadness, despair, or any type of negativity finds the smallest space in your thought or perception, you must ELIMINATE it immediately. The ONLY WAY to do that is to FIND BEAUTY in something, anything you can see or say. You must directly divert your attention and focus to something wonderful and beautiful that is a part of your world, past or present, or environment.

RULE #2: When speaking with someone who is draining, pessimistic, drama-filled, or has bad karma, you must TUNE THEM OUT. The chances are that you aren’t getting a word in edgewise anyway, so this shouldn’t be hard. A few supportive comments and gestures should suffice, but do your best to END THE INTERACTION ABRUPTLY so you can return to a more supportive space.

RULE #3: Find as much QUIET time as possible. Even if that means pretending you have to go to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet with all of your clothes on just to take a deep breath and think. Finding time to THINK and RESOLVE is the best gift you can give yourself.

RULE #4: Muster the COURAGE to BE. Most relationships, friendships, and partnerships fail because we are more concerned with how others perceive us, what they think about us, pleasing and making them happy than we are with just being ourselves. I would venture to say that even those NO NONSENSE self-proclaimed folks who give it to you raw are hiding their insecurities and loneliness behind the ‘facade’ of strength. There is no greater freedom than the courage to BE who you are and how you are.

I have learned that those four simple rules have been vital in me destroying the sabotaging agent of my lower self, whose job it is to keep me bound, complacent, fearful, and insecure. By guarding my thoughts, my person, and those I let ‘get in my ear,’ and my spiritual center, my TRUE SELF has been liberated to freedom it’s never before known.

One day I woke up and did myself a favor.  I accepted who I am and how I am as WONDERFUL and not definable nor defiable by any other human being. I faced the fact that I would NOT be accepted, liked, or even respected by everyone but that I should find comfort and gratefulness in those who did and quickly dismiss and not personally internalize those who didn’t. And finally, I realized that the only way to BE A GREAT PERSON and DO GREAT THINGS was to BE MYSELF the way GOD created me, and to do that, I had to set the CAPTIVE FREE. I was involved in a HOSTAGE SITUATION, and I was allowing OTHER PEOPLE to keep me there. Once I realized that the ransom cost nothing more than LOVE OF SELF and releasing others in THAT love, my VOICE emerged FREE AT LAST!


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See It

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

PERCEPTION is an amazing and most powerful instrument. And to think that it is an instrument of the MIND’s EYE. The more I learn and come to understand HOW THINGS WORK, the better equipped I am at making THINGS WORK FOR ME. Hindsight is 20/20, and if I only knew then what I know now, I DEFINITELY would have taught my children the principles I’ve only in recent years begun learning myself and oh what advantage and edge would they have!!. However, it’s never too late to learn, and it’s never too early to share.

The moment I stopped questioning the WHY about everything EXTERNAL in my Universe and instead began asking the question WHY about everything INTERNAL within myself, MY world and THE world for me began to change. I realized that I was not born or given the gift of life to TAKE from this life/world I live in but to GIVE to it. The world does not exist FOR ME; I exist FOR THE WORLD.

I am here to make my contributions and my mark. That is my journey; one of difference, one of impact, one of promise. What I can do for humanity is measurable by not only how I see myself, but how skilled I am at my adaptability to a changing environment and a host of vibrations from a suffering people (on the whole).

Don’t get me wrong; everyone is not suffering, but as long as there’s one person hungry, one person, homeless, one person lonely, one person ill…. we all suffer. A whole is equal to the sum of its parts, and until we begin to embrace that we are all of one race, THE HUMAN RACE, we will forever be divided by our ‘perceptions’.

There’s a saying that to make a change, you must first start with the man in the mirror (the looking glass). Well, I’m going to say that sometimes while looking through the looking glass, one forgets that in the REFLECTION, everything you see is realistically in REVERSE. … and so begins the err of being human. We look at things from a perspective of seeing outward instead of inward. Once we start to understand that what will heal us all is the LOVE WITHIN, looking WITHOUT for gain becomes null and void for, from that point forward, the only search we find ourselves outwardly engaged in is MAKING A DIFFERENCE WITH THE GIFT OF US!


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Aha

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

MY PERSONAL DISABILITY: CAPACITY TO LOVE HANDICAP…

As I changed my Facebook profile picture today and began writing my kudos to my father, I had yet another AHA moment.

I was thinking about how he’s been the model father to me, my siblings and even children in the absence of their own.

I’m going to block and copy what my initial sentiments were when posting about my father…..

“I’m so VERY GRATEFUL that I have always had the PERFECT EXAMPLE of the only TYPE OF MAN that should ever be my type when choosing a partner. It’s not only husbands/boyfriends who should be the REFLECTION of GOD’s love for you manifested in the flesh, but FATHERS TOO – and my DAD HAS!!!!

My father is and has been the most significant and most beautiful ALL MY LIFE. He has always provided, spent time with us, made us laugh & crack up, had us cry (with discipline), been proud of us & proved it, invested in our dreams (emotionally & financially), and given us the best life (full of love, comfort, good times, great memories, and joy). He not only IS the best father to all of my siblings and me, but he stepped up for my children when their father was nowhere around growing up. He’s been the best father to us all, husband to my mom, father and grandfather to my children, and yep usher & van driver to the church. LOL. Cheers to you, DAD!!!!!”

I realized as I was writing that post and reflecting on the awesome man he’s been and continues to be after all these years, that I have a handicap that I never before knew or realized I had. I had NOTHING BUT LOVE in my household growing up. My family is so very close, generous, loving, and kind that we don’t understand how else to be. We’ve laughed, cried, shared, and strengthened each other through every type of incident, crisis, celebration, and a milestone for every member. I realize only now that this man is the reason for my development as a child and my subsequent ability to love others with a depth and breadth that is stronger than most. I am not like others in that I’ve looked for the men who I have previously chosen to live up to the standards and expectation of being as my father. I’m more guilty of loving men who have been their men and quite far from his example with the depth and breadth as if they WERE of his caliber and, in some cases, absolutely undeserving of such measure from me and treasure in me.

In sports, when there is a person who is handicapped in an area, it is considered a deficiency. I don’t know why it is that handicaps of any kind or type are considered deficiencies at all. I would venture to say that a handicap in one area (because yes, it’s usually found only in one) means that there was more strength left over for GOD to place somewhere else in the person. (smile). For example, people with the handicap of not being able to see are better equipped at the hearing. Those who are considered autistic have been discovered to be an absolute genius in other creative areas. That being the case, I now know and can embrace and accept the handicap I’ve lived with my entire life….. that of my capacity TO LOVE. It has never failed, and I’ve been one to love men, women, children, family & even strangers with a magnitude that has not only made some question my motives but with a sincerity that has had those without the example or taste of such a love reject me completely. That’s called the unconditional love often referenced as God’s AGAPE LOVE. While it has been what has attracted a more significant number of people to me than not (which is what handicaps sometimes do…. have the curious looking to satisfy their thirsts), it has also been a double-edged sword that has cut deep into the parts of others that they would rather have remain numb.

In either case, now that I’ve realized my handicap; My CAPACITY TO LOVE HANDICAP, and the root cause of my handicap, having GOD’s love for me manifested in the flesh as a father, I can begin to COMPENSATE…. that is if I want and choose to. Nahhh, the more I think about it, and even with its sometimes very painful consequence, I guess I’ll just keep being who I am and continue this journey through life accepting of my disabilities and thanking GOD for them whether people take them and can deal with them or not.


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The Wonderful

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm

EVERYTHING WONDERFUL & ALL THINGS PERFECT IN YOU… Life’s beauty is absolutely in its lessons. If we are honest with ourselves, learning is a full-time job that we have until the day we die… that is if you’re lucky. The person who seeks to KNOW EVERYTHING and be a KNOW IT ALL is not at all what I’m talking about. I am speaking from the perspective of those people who know that every waking moment of every day for the rest of their lives will never be enough time to learn all it is available to identify, savor all there is to enjoy, admire all there is to be commended or even love all there is to love about people, places, or things. If one could imagine, I mean embrace, that GOD WALKS WITH YOU because He dwells INSIDE OF YOU, wouldn’t that change your perspective about LIFE as you’ve come to know it? Shouldn’t it?

I mean, take the time out to consider that EVERYTHING WONDERFUL, and ALL THINGS PERFECT is in your presence, keeping you company, and in alignment with you because of your commitment to LOVE, honor, cherish and share who you are with whomever you are able.

Imagine that same SOURCE emanates a love vibration on your behalf, and just WAITS for your petitions, commands, and professions so that FULFILLMENT can have its way. Would you still live with sadness, regret, and a low self-image? Would you still impose unrealistic expectations upon yourself and others? Or would you allow the peace and calm of that everything beautiful to make all things perfect and right within your soul?

It has become more apparent to me, and I shall touch on this subject tonight when I am used to delivering God’s word on this evening’s conference call (see appearances to the right), that we only find ourselves in places where we never want to be because of our lack of confidence in our SELVES. We’ve been given everything we would ever need to have the lives we could ever want at birth. It’s in our DESIGN, our DNA, in the deepest parts of our soul… it’s in every breath we take because it was BREATHED INTO us in the first place. From that first cry, it manifested as truth, and until we can handle the reality, we live our lives in the illusion of lies great and small. The truth is that WE ARE GREAT, WE ARE POWERFUL, and WE ARE MIGHTY all because of the GREAT, POWERFUL, and MIGHTY that is IN US!


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Invest All The Way In You

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Illustration of a lovely couple together

by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, September 7, 2020, at 1:00 pm

“Sometimes in life, people will take your kindness for weakness, your graciousness for passivity, and you invest friendship for granted.

Sometimes people can become so comfortable and complacent with how well you treat them and contribute to their lives they begin to feel entitled and boast a type of arrogance as if it is something about THEM that makes YOU so wonderful to them. … forgetting that YOU make you wonderful.

There are times when people will not be a grateful reciprocator of what you bring to the table and when that is the case you may need to back off and take yourself out of the equation so that your VALUE can be reinstated.

Keep being your best you FOR YOU. Remember the world is ROUND not flat… and the Universe is nothing more than a boomerang…. and your life a reflection of what is and has been within which will yield to you 100 fold your bountiful investment.”

– Stefany J (Remix from 2014)


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True Blue

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Open rebuke is better than secret love…faithful is the wounds of a friend. (Prov. 27)11/10

If more of us listened to the voice WITHIN, we would not be forced to live so much WITHOUT.

The prayer of agreement is one of the most powerful tools God has given us. It is a prayer that Jesus Himself guaranteed would bring results every time. “If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask,” He said, “it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 18:19 NAS).

The prayer of agreement is a powerful tool. So don’t be discouraged by your past experience. Just make the necessary adjustments and keep on in agreement. Run a harmony check. Establish your heart on the Word. Fix your mind on the Word. Act as if it’s done. And anything you ask shall be done for you by your Father in heaven.

The one thing the enemy fights more than anything else is an agreement… because the enemy knows the POWER of agreement.

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Returning to First Love

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 03, 2020, at 1:00 pm

Whew, when I tell you that sometimes being healthy is one of the most challenging things for me to be. It’s well to my advantage and good fortune that when I am weak (which is more than a little bit), the GOD INSIDE OF ME is there to make me secure IF I allow Him. How many times do we spout off these words and make all these professions, yet DO NOT DEFER to the POWER or the SOURCE WITHIN us? It’s the most mindless thing really… to have ALL OF THIS POWER, ALL OF THIS ACCESS and yet never REALLY REALLY call upon it until the most desperate of times.

I remember it being said that during 911, many people were ‘calling upon the LORD’ in their last breaths and last moments of life and fear. Why is it that we call in times of trouble, in times of despair, in times of pain? I guess for the very same reason as parents; we watch our children living their lives thinking they know everything with an invincible outlook, only to have them run to us for their refuge and rescue when the decisions they’ve made have brought about consequences they cannot handle or forge alone. It is a human condition because I believe we do the same things during this lifetime.

Again, I would also venture to say that there is a semi-acknowledgment of some form of gratefulness and mention of thanks when times are good. It’s easy to say thank you for we are creatures of habit, and the normal inclined response when someone has given you something is to say thank you. So when times are good, we say thank you to GOD and keep it moving.

So here we are, using our reflexive response in saying thank you when He has given something to us or done something for us. Reaching for his extended arm of protection and seeking cover when we need to hide, protected, or saved from ourselves and our decisions. There’s something about this particular recipe that does not seem tasteful at all. There’s something being lost in the sauce or rather the middle of both extremes if you will.

It would seem to me that as with any other love relationship, the one that is NURTURED, FED, INDULGED IN, TREASURED and VALUED is the one that will always have the solid foundation and yield the best results. I know that what you do not nurture will die, and what you feed will grow. It is and has always been our choice. We are given the freedom to choose who and what we will supply. I have lived 42 years of my life feeding these emotions, this sentimental heart, this jumping jack flash flesh of mine, and this troubled mind. I am so grateful that as I am evolving, this SHIFT is happening and I am securely HOLDING ON, and courageously GOING WITH THE FLOW.

Since it is my choice and has always been my choice, there is no big conspiracy theory for me to project blame upon. There’s no victimizing my traumas and past, even those experienced as a child for while they were beyond my control, they didn’t kill me, and I’m still here. That is all that matters. I will no longer find myself frustrated by others when they lack the compassion or extension of kindness and consideration I give to them… why? Because I GIVE IT. What you GIVE, you should always give freely without the expectation of anything in return. That is how I live. I enjoy having a GIVING heart. I am learning how to curb my enthusiasm in that area as well and be prudent to how much I give, and who I give what to.

I have always been a person who has ever given WAYYY too much and WAYY too fast. I fall first and ask questions later. Silly me. LOL. So now I am taking the advice of a friend of mine, and I am pulling out all the stops and rolling with THE ONE and THE ONLY who has never forsaken me and always proved loyal through me, my mistakes, and my shenanigans.

I have decided to choose what’s behind door number 2 going forward and make that MY DOOR #1. I’m returning to my first love, the love who created me and gave me life.

I’ve decided to invest all of my energy, gifts, skills, talents, and the very best parts of who I am into THAT RELATIONSHIP rather than any relationship I would want to have on this earth. I am learning to FEED and NURTURE HIM, and just enjoy myself with all of the other times he would place on this journey for me to enjoy in the meantime until the HIM presents HIMSELF before myself as a reflection in him.


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If You Treat this Life as a Gamble: The House Always Wins

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 03, 2020, at 1:00 pm

As I am beginning to pay more attention to what my spirit is telling me, I am learning that I am absolutely the one who has stood in my way of many things. I have to bear the responsibility of blocking my blessings, causing my stumbles, and making poor choices. While we love to play the victim and blame people, circumstances, conditions, co-workers, disloyal friends, jealous relatives, and hating strangers, those are all PROJECTIONS of what we are either too blind to see or also hurt to admit. The truth of the matter is that what we live is a product of WHO WE ARE, WHO WE HAVE BEEN, HOW WE ARE, WHAT WE’VE THOUGHT, THE WORDS WE HAVE SPOKEN, and most importantly of all … what we live is a product of our failure to GET REAL WITH OUR ‘self’ so that our SELF can take over.

That is probably why GOD holds us accountable for our transgressions once we’ve reached the age of ‘knowing better.’ There’s a saying that once you know better, you do better. Ummm, I don’t think so. I have known better in a lot of situations and still have yet to do what is in my best interest.

Instead, as a creature of habit, I do what I THINK I should do, or better yet, what I THINK will have the outcome I want. I have more than not, gambled with the consequences of my thinking and feelings and sentiments (without consulting my spirit, my intuition, the God I serve), and losing.

I’m learning this LIFE apart from GOD is almost like a Casino. The House (the Adversary) holds the advantage of knowing outcomes. While we sit placing bets and feeding these needs, these thirsts, these desires… while we are mesmerized by the lights, the lusts, and the fancy things in front of us…. we are just spending our time chasing the quick fast and in a hurry dream, and the jackpot that will just come our way by luck and by chance. Never realizing that the eyes of the House are on us the entire time, knowing that the House never loses, and also knowing that our being in that space and place will have no other outcome for us but tragic.

It’s the House’s job to keep us busy, sleep-deprived, occupied, and drunk so that we never leave. The House makes sure that we become so addicted that we reach the point where it no longer needs to lure us with promotions because we will come back on our own voluntarily. When the records show an unusually long absence is in effect, the House will send gifts and incentives to bring you back, because of course, they must be claimed in person. The sad truth is that once you become addicted, the spiral downhill seems uncontrollable and virtually unrecoverable. The saying “go for broke’ is the exact sentiment… the House is going until you are broke and broken. By the time it’s all said and done, you could lose everything… your family, your money, your dignity, and self-respect, your finances, home, honor, etc..

For me, I’m tired of the flashing lights and sounds of the Casino. I am no longer interested in the beauty of the rooms and space made for me in accommodations. I do not care to hear the pitch nor to try my luck or hand at the big jackpot that I am promised to have access to. I’ve been there and done that. I’ve believed in the promise of what that man whispered to me and told me. I’ve been comfortable in the accommodation of what looks good, feels good, smells good, sounds good, and tastes good. I’ve won big only to lose it all and keep losing. No, thank you. I think at this stage for me; ALL BETS ARE OFF. I’ll let those new players who think they’ve got it all figured out, have better skills, and who think they know more… I’ll give them indulge. It’s just not for me: no more games, no more losses, no more gambling with my LIFE.

Instead, I will just use what I have been given and find security and surety in that measure. Rather than the quick fix to all of my problems, I’ll just solve them one by one at a slow and steady pace. It can be done; I know it can because GOD will pluck them off my list and solve them if I only ask. The Bible says the race is not won to the swift but to he that endures to the end. I learned that my dream of the JACKPOT that I spent all that time gambling, wishing, hoping I would get was the JACKPOT I had access to and won a long time ago… I just had to TURN my thinking and CLAIM my prize. My relationship and alignment with Father is the winning ticket. It is the JACKPOT and the gift that keeps on giving. I get regular dividend disbursements for life and guess what it’s tax-free!

The moment I realized the House always wins was the moment I stopped treating my life like a gamble. It was the moment I realized that the House (the Adversary) wanted me to be distracted and gamble with my gifts, talents, and skills because he knew that I could lose them all in the process by voluntarily using them as markers. What I didn’t realize then, which I most definitely know now, is that the PRIZE WINNINGS that the House uses to lure people in are everyone else’s losses. WOW, that’s deep. Think about that last statement and say it out loud. The adversary uses other people’s failures as the lure to gain what is yours.

So today, if you are willing and able, cast not your pearls before the swine. Do not voluntarily give your gifts to the house. Instead, hold on, and rather than taking the easy way out, go slow and steady… those gifts will make room for you, and you’ll begin to get the disbursements from your winnings before you know it. You are already the winner. You won a long time ago, and have always held the winning ticket. Now CLAIM YOUR PRIZE and what is yours!


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Leaps of Faith and Steps of Courage

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 03, 2020, at 1:00 pm

I have had this message on my heart for the past couple of days now. The reason I did not post it was because I wanted to sit with it for a while so that it could resonate in and within my spirit. It has been an exciting week full of the weirdest occurrences. Today is Thursday, and on Monday, I spent most of the day tending to my ill daughter and had to drive an hour to her physician’s appointment. I was not pleased with his course of treatment but did my best to follow ‘physician’s orders.’

On Tuesday, it was an extremely rough day, and in the early afternoon, I had the most horrible thing happen. I was holding our new puppy BROOKLYN who is a ten-week-old Bichon Frise’. As I was preparing to hand her over to my father, she jumped out of my arms, did a flip, and landed hard onto the hard-wood floor. She yelped and cried so much and just cried and cried. I scooped her up, and I could feel her pain. She was definitely in shock, and I was mortified. Bringing harm to living creatures (human beings and every other living creature) is something I feel into the depths of my soul as an empath. It is part of my gifts and callings that is the most difficult to contend with. I cried with her and realized within the hour that I should take her to the animal hospital. So I did. She had a strained neck and right front elbow. They gave me meds, and she spent the rest of the day quiet and seemingly dismayed.

By yesterday she was back to normal and not going to the bathroom outside (LOL). Last evening my daughter came into my room and said she had been dealing with a pain in her eye since the day before (without telling me), and that pain had become intense and moved over the side of her face. Her asthma was pretty bad. So needless to say, I spent all of last night into the early of this morning (4 am) in the emergency room with her. She is doing much better today. As I went this morning to run errands, do banking, and grocery shopping for tonight’s dinner, I reflected once again on the message I wanted to relay about leaps and bounds.

I realized that what happened with our puppy happens all the time with us as human beings. We become so thrilled and excited with who or what is awaiting us that we just want to leap towards it without considerations….never understanding that if we are not fully developed that those leaps could bring more harm to us than sound – or the other side of that… if who or what we are leaping towards is not fully developed, focused or prepared, then they could very well be in a position conducive to NOT BEING THERE to catch you, greet you, meet you, or be ready for you… which again can bring strain and pain to both entities.

I learned that every leap we make is a leap of faith. And even when we are seemingly not as prepared as we thought we were or should be, that even with the strains of the outcome, things will undoubtedly return to their average pace soon after that.

When what we are leaping towards is not ready for our arrival, it can be disheartening, but remember that ALL THINGS HAPPEN FOR THE GOOD, and there is a beautiful life lesson in every set of circumstances.

I have learned that when I’ve gone out on limbs and taken leaps of faith, I too have been left alone out on the legs to be pained and strained with disappointment, hurt, despair, and regret. THOSE ARE ALL LIES and DECEPTIONS to stop you from being your best you and living your best life. It is the twistedness of the adversary and his adversity to crush the faith you have in what you believe, in what you know, and in who you are. OVERCOME that voice and heed to the whisper that gave you the courage to jump in the first place. When you have displayed courage and found that expectations of outcomes were not met, know that it is for your perfecting and endurance at the very least. At the very most, it turns into a testimony used to help others.

The greatest tragedy one could ever live with is having lived a life where there were no leaps of faith taken. The person who always plays it safe is the one who will forever lose because they are the ones left behind to watch others capture and gain what’s coming to them and what God has for them. So I say, even if in your younger years you experienced hurt, pain, or strain from leaping, don’t let that be the staggering characteristic that prevents you from moving forward. If you do, then you are allowing your past to dictate your future. Trust and believe in who you are, and all that is great awaiting your arrival. It takes more courage to persevere than it does to succumb. As for your destiny: chase it, run towards it. Leap farther in your faith than you ever have before and cross that finish line to fortune. It’s fixed where it is and waiting for you!


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Gestation: Growth By Leaps and Bounds

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by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, July 27, 2020, at 1:00 pm

There is something to be said about the PROCESS of growth. I remember as a young girl during my teenage years that there was a period when I would sleep every chance I got. I remember during my own son’s puberty, he did the same, and my daughters the same. It’s as if no matter how hard you tried, you just could seem to stay awake. My father would say, “that’s because you’re growing.” And sure enough, the product of sleeping an entire summer away would yield me an additional two inches on my height.

As I have been going through so very many life lessons these past few years, and even quite a few these past couple of months, I realize the importance and necessity of REST upon a body so that growth can take place. I have found myself extremely tired and exhausted after work and study only to discover that I am sleeping more than I ever have. No matter how hard I try to stay awake so that I can do ‘more,’ my body shuts down independently of my desires, and I am forced into a sleep state.

As always, you know me. I am still trying to understand the complexity of simple things as I make unaffected the most complex areas of my existence. I began researching the process of gestation and learned so very much about the metamorphosis brought about as a result.

We were taking the comparability of the life cycle of the butterfly as an example. There are four stages, the egg, the larva (caterpillar), the pupa (chrysalis), and the adult butterfly. We have a similar emergence throughout our life cycle.

The egg (gestation period in the womb), the childhood stage (where we are taking everything in), our young adult lives (where our growth is taking place), and then our adulthood.

In closely examining this universal life process, I decided to delve deeper into the spiritual significance and application of the same process. In doing so, I re-examined my entire mental process and walk and can honestly see those areas where my growth has had significant strides. I now understand the importance of my “sleep state,” and that not unlike the caterpillar who is in the pupa stage, “…From the outside of the pupa, it looks as if the caterpillar may just be resting, but the inside is where all of the action is.  Inside the pupa, the caterpillar is rapidly changing.” That is what has been happening to me.

While from the outside it looks and appears as if I’ve been resting, away, on hiatus, absent, missing in action (smile)… from the inside ALL OF THE ACTION has been taking place and I’ve been rapidly changing. I know now that all of these years, I’ve been going through my STAGES of the life and birthing cycle.

I’ve been in my gestational period of being fed, taking in, growing, and prepared. There are times when I’ve been nurtured and those moments when I’ve longed for nurturing that never seemed to present itself (at least not in the physical anyway).

Nevertheless, with all of that, I still have found myself going through the PROCESS and growing by leaps and bounds at the expense of sometimes being utterly unaware of my surroundings and strides as it relates to my walk. As I begin to seek more, thirst more, get fed more, learn more, I find that the savor of gestation is an acquired taste. As a woman who has been utterly impatient for most of her life, I am learning the POWER OF THE SLEEP STATE, the value of the slow, and the emergence from that period as one who is growing and glowing, and sowing.

Granted, I’ve been close to this space and place before. With even my most intimate and near misses of that FINISH LINE, I have received and can most appreciate the value in those times even. Learning through personal experiences is immeasurable, sharing them as teachings for others to learn is my willingness and obligation.

I am finding joy in my transparency. I am finding peace with my choices. I am finding the endless supply of love that enters into a person’s life with the surrender to a process that was designed to grow them by leaps and bounds in the first place.

It’s a beautiful place to be in, and I look forward to enjoying the now of this space until it’s time to move into the next.


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