by Stefany J. Jones on Thursday, August 10, 2020, at 1:00 pm
The Gift of Your Voice…There is no more anguishing a feeling than that of being STUCK. I believe that my moments, times, and lengthy durations of being in that space and place have been the stumbling blocks to my success. They have been the barriers to my happiness. They have been the obstacles in my way on the road to my dreams. There have been countless experiences, events, and circumstances that I have both learned and grown from. I have taken lessons to heart and, in some cases, to the head, and on a few rare occasions to the behind (LOL). Yep, I haven’t always taken the easy road, but the road less traveled of HARD KNOCKS on my behind and every which way BUT up! Through it all though, I somehow and in some way find myself in someone’s favor because I emerge victoriously every time. Some people don’t believe in luck, while others don’t believe in destiny or fate. I think in all of them. I KNOW that the mere fact that I am here breathing and able to write, speak, and be is a miracle in and of itself. For that reason, I take no one and nothing (not even my time) for granted.
As I was sharing moments with my friend last night in conversation, we ended up discussing freedoms, abilities, opportunities, and the measure and treasure of the RIGHT TO BE who you are and how you are. What I realized during that conversation were moments in my past, where I did not understand the GIFT of MY VOICE. If I am to be completely honest, I can say with the strength that even more recently, I easily could have found myself once again in a place of surrendering MY VOICE yet again. It’s the most daunting thing, this innate ability of ours to be creatures of habit.
In my case there are times when my BAD HABITS find their way front and center more than my good and then the games begin…. this battle of good vs. evil, of my flesh vs. my spirit, of my lower self vs. my higher self, the mean vs. the kind, etc..
I have learned that for me, my lower self exists SOLELY to SABOTAGE my higher SELF and everything right, everything beautiful, everything loving, and everything kind that desires to come forth from my life. Because of that, I could no longer IGNORE the engagement wishing, hoping, and self-talking it away… instead, I had to learn THE RULES, which I will share.
RULE #1: Negativity exists all around, and it all starts within. So when the moments of sadness, despair, or any type of negativity finds the smallest space in your thought or perception, you must ELIMINATE it immediately. The ONLY WAY to do that is to FIND BEAUTY in something, anything you can see or say. You must directly divert your attention and focus to something wonderful and beautiful that is a part of your world, past or present, or environment.
RULE #2: When speaking with someone who is draining, pessimistic, drama-filled, or has bad karma, you must TUNE THEM OUT. The chances are that you aren’t getting a word in edgewise anyway, so this shouldn’t be hard. A few supportive comments and gestures should suffice, but do your best to END THE INTERACTION ABRUPTLY so you can return to a more supportive space.
RULE #3: Find as much QUIET time as possible. Even if that means pretending you have to go to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet with all of your clothes on just to take a deep breath and think. Finding time to THINK and RESOLVE is the best gift you can give yourself.
RULE #4: Muster the COURAGE to BE. Most relationships, friendships, and partnerships fail because we are more concerned with how others perceive us, what they think about us, pleasing and making them happy than we are with just being ourselves. I would venture to say that even those NO NONSENSE self-proclaimed folks who give it to you raw are hiding their insecurities and loneliness behind the ‘facade’ of strength. There is no greater freedom than the courage to BE who you are and how you are.
I have learned that those four simple rules have been vital in me destroying the sabotaging agent of my lower self, whose job it is to keep me bound, complacent, fearful, and insecure. By guarding my thoughts, my person, and those I let ‘get in my ear,’ and my spiritual center, my TRUE SELF has been liberated to freedom it’s never before known.
One day I woke up and did myself a favor. I accepted who I am and how I am as WONDERFUL and not definable nor defiable by any other human being. I faced the fact that I would NOT be accepted, liked, or even respected by everyone but that I should find comfort and gratefulness in those who did and quickly dismiss and not personally internalize those who didn’t. And finally, I realized that the only way to BE A GREAT PERSON and DO GREAT THINGS was to BE MYSELF the way GOD created me, and to do that, I had to set the CAPTIVE FREE. I was involved in a HOSTAGE SITUATION, and I was allowing OTHER PEOPLE to keep me there. Once I realized that the ransom cost nothing more than LOVE OF SELF and releasing others in THAT love, my VOICE emerged FREE AT LAST!
